I recently just watched one of my all-time favorite books and movies the Perks of Being A Wallflower, written by the brilliant Stephen Chbosky. This book/movie duo gives me all the feels. How can you not relate to an awkward teenage boy who's just trying to make real friends? Not to mention, the fact that he has to overcome so much trauma from an early age, and still is dealing with it every day. (I won't go into details; you'll just have to read the book and watch the movie.) I grew up reading the kinds of books that centered around a teenage protagonist who in some way feels or is portrayed as an outcast. They have to overcome the bullies and the struggles life throws at them, or sometimes they have to face the demons of their past. I always related to them in some small way no matter what age I was. Everyone at some point in their lives has tried hard to fit in or find their group, but have experienced setbacks become of some personal obstacle. Whether that is a shy personality or an inability to trust the ones around us, we struggle to find their closest friends. We struggle to find our place in the world. No one willingly chooses to feel lonely and feel like they are on the fringes of everything going on around them. Yet, we probably have at least felt like that once or twice.
In Perks, we see Charlie, the protagonist, struggle to make friends as he goes into his freshman year of high school. He keeps to himself and minds his own business until he meets his two future best friends Sam and Patrick who show him what friendship is about. It's not all about having a billion friends who surround you; but the one or two close friends who become your partners in crime. It's the friends who let you be yourself and accept all the struggles and shortcomings you have. It's about having the friends in your life who love you, and not just parts of you but all of you, regardless of what has defined you in the past.
And it's also about the friends who adventure with you. It's the ones that challenge you to better yourself and try new things (maybe not the laced brownie that Charlie tried in in the movie but other things). It's the ones that will stick around even when you are crazy or are sad or say mean things. Because friendship and love have never been easy. At least when it's real.
One of my all-time favorite quotes comes from this book. It captures the essence of youth and love and everything in between. The movie scene captures Charlie, Patrick, and Sam driving through a tunnel into Pittsburgh. Charlie is in the back of the truck. He's reflecting on the past year and how everything is about to change. Yet the moment he is in is beautiful.
Charlie: “Because I know there are people who say all these things don’t happen. And there are people who forget what it’s like to be sixteen when they turn seventeen. I know these will all be stories some day, and our pictures will become old photographs. We all become somebody’s mom or dad. But right now, these moments are not stories. This is happening. I am here, and I am looking at her. And she is so beautiful. I can see it. This one moment when you know you’re not a sad story. You are alive. And you stand up and see the lights on the buildings and everything that makes you wonder. And you’re listening to that song, and that drive with the people who you love most in this world. And in this moment, I swear, we are infinite.”
EntertainmentAug 11, 2015
Friendship And Love: Lessons From The Perks of Being A Wallflower
The importance of meaningful friendships
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