When Charlie is flying through the tunnel at midnight,
surrounded by too much darkness but even more light,
he says the words, "And in that moment, I swear we were infinite."
I don't know that I have ever felt infinite but
I do know that I have felt alive.
I do know that I have had the kind of beautiful moments
that make me glad I didn't kill myself when I was 13
or 16
or 19.
I know that I have had the kind of nights
that are more stained glass
than broken bathroom tile.
I think feeling infinite is hearing the words "you matter to me"
and "thank you for staying alive."
I think it is kissing your girlfriend
and pumpkin spice lattes
and writing songs at two in the morning.
I think this is what Charlie meant.
I think Charlie meant to use the word "alive."
I think only people who have known what it is to feel nothing
can describe what it is to feel everything.
This is the moment—
this is feeling everything.
