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Politics and Activism

The Perfectionist: A Poem In Honor Of Eating Disorders Awareness Week

Here's the reality of living with an eating disorder.

Kyli Rodriguez-Cayro

Mar 04, 2017

Salt Lake City, Utah

The Redwood Bark

The Perfectionist

Behind double glass windows,

Followed by an army of eyes... “Why is your blood pressure so low dear?”

They blame my petite frame and scribble that as the cause.

I was not built like this.

I twisted and molded my body-

Desperately trying to soften the clay

to chip away at it

One meal a day,

Purge.

One snack,

Purge.

Endless caffeinated, corrosive, corrupted energy.

More black coffee, please.

At midnight, l gladly eat the whole pizza

I cry Wiping sauce from the corner of my mouth.

Purge fifty times.

Starve for 3 days straight.

I void myself and leave my body in numbing confusion-

It is begging for water, just nerve bound instructions

Truthfully, I am dying.

Not in a panic, but slowly,

The tiptoeing decrescendo conducted by my barely lucid mind.

A tangential death built of dissent and disconnection.

My body would be fortunate to be untangled from me, because

If it could experience the pulse of my thoughts,

My heart would lay crippled.

Death and perfection are tantamount.

I don’t know what to choose.

If you or a loved one is struggling with an eating disorder, visit the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) for support and resources

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Now that I'm officially an adult, I want to pursue some new things. I want to experience life in a way that I never allowed myself to do prior to entering college. These are the years that I'm supposed to embark on a journey of self-discovery, so what better way to do that than to create a bucket list?

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The Perfectionist: A Poem In Honor Of Eating Disorders Awareness Week

Here's the reality of living with an eating disorder.

The Perfectionist

Behind double glass windows,

Followed by an army of eyes... “Why is your blood pressure so low dear?”

They blame my petite frame and scribble that as the cause.

I was not built like this.

I twisted and molded my body-

Desperately trying to soften the clay

to chip away at it

One meal a day,

Purge.

One snack,

Purge.

Endless caffeinated, corrosive, corrupted energy.

More black coffee, please.

At midnight, l gladly eat the whole pizza

I cry Wiping sauce from the corner of my mouth.

Purge fifty times.

Starve for 3 days straight.

I void myself and leave my body in numbing confusion-

It is begging for water, just nerve bound instructions

Truthfully, I am dying.

Not in a panic, but slowly,

The tiptoeing decrescendo conducted by my barely lucid mind.

A tangential death built of dissent and disconnection.

My body would be fortunate to be untangled from me, because

If it could experience the pulse of my thoughts,

My heart would lay crippled.

Death and perfection are tantamount.

I don’t know what to choose.

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I'm technically an adult, so I'm legally required to live a little, right?

1. Watch an R-rated Scary Movie in a Movie Theater

2. Buy a Lottery Ticket

3. Vote in an Election

4. Participate in a Run (or a Walk, Realistically) for Charity

5. Go on a Road Trip

6. Start a Savings Account

7. Get a Credit Card

8. Sign up for Spotify Premium

9. Go to a Club

10. Start a Meditation Routine

11. Go to a Yoga Class

12. Treat Myself to a Dinner for One

13. Volunteer for a Charity

14. Participate in a Research Study

15. Bake Something (That Ends Up Being Edible)

16. Go Skydiving

17. Be Called for Jury Duty

18. Figure Out What I Want to Do With my Life

The holiday classics that shaped my life

1."But what would happen if we all tried to be like Santa and learned to give as only he can give: of ourselves, our talents, our love and our hearts? Maybe we could all learn Santa's beautiful lesson and maybe there would finally be peace on Earth and good will toward men."

"Sometimes the most real things in the world are the things we can't see."

"If you won't use your heart, who cares if it gets broken? If you just keep it to yourself, maybe it'll be like my rollerblades. When you do decide to try it, it won't be any good. You should take a chance. Got nothing to lose."

"Remember, no man is a failure who has friends."

"Life is made up of meetings and partings. That is the way of it."

"If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find a that love actually is all around."

"Sometimes things look good on paper, but lose their luster when you see how it affects real folks. I guess a healthy bottom line doesn't mean much if to get it, you have to hurt the ones you depend on."

"'Maybe Christmas,' he thought, 'doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.'"

"Faith is believing when common sense tells you not to."

"There's room for everyone on the nice list."

Hopefully they will make you laugh.

1. Why are towels considered dirty when you get out of the shower clean?

2. Who closes the bus door once the bus driver gets off?

3. Why is there a "d" in "fridge" but not in "refrigerator"?

4. If you drop soap on the floor is the floor clean or the soap dirty?

5. Is the "S" or the "C" silent in the word "scent"?

6. Does expecting the unexpected make the unexpected the expected?

7. Would Lightning McQueen buy car insurance or life insurance?

8. Who put the alphabet in alphabetical order?

9. What color are mirrors?

10. If 2 mind readers read each other's minds whose mind are they really reading?

11. Is there a synonym for "synonym"?

12. If your shirt isn't tucked into your pants, are your pants tucked into your shirt?

13. Why is it called "quick sand" if you sink slowly in it?

14. If I try to fail, but succeed, which one did I do?

15. If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, why did it fall off?

As if May wasn't enough, a truly spectacular Northern Lights show lit up the sky on Oct. 10, 2024

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