1. Half Dozen Cookies

During the holiday season, there is usually a steady stream of baked goods flowing through the kitchen. Substitute any meal with about 4-6 cookies, or the equivalent in cookie dough. Pairs nicely with some cold milk.

2. Ramen

Just because you're not in your dorm room anymore doesn't mean that you actually want to put effort into things. At some point you will be lazy and hungry and desperate, and that's what ramen noodles are for.

3. Leftovers

You almost forgot about these wonderful things: food that was previously made, stored safely in the fridge, that can be almost instantly reheated and enjoyed again. Amazing. Just be wary that some things keep better than others, eat at your own risk.

4. Chips and Salsa

Because it's there.

5. 7 Nestle Pure Life 16.9oz Water Bottles

This one does require a bit more work. Basically, walk into the kitchen, look through the pantry, refrigerator, and freezer, find nothing satisfactory, and grab a water bottle instead. Repeat until someone with more willpower to cook comes home. Bonus, on a couple of the trips, grab a few saltine crackers or potato chips to tide you over, and don't forget to recycle!

6. Cereal

If you're still wearing pajamas, it's still time for cereal.

7. Assorted Pastries??

This is something one of your parents brought home from work. Some co-worker dropped it off, and you've never actually heard of the names written in sharpie on the outside of the Ziplock bags, but they seem edible so why not give it a try.

8. Spaghetti

Okay, spaghetti is one of the easiest things you can make. In case you are unsure, bring a pot of salted water to a boil, then add uncooked noodles. Wait 9 minutes. Then drain the noodles and put them in a bowl. Add spaghetti sauce from a jar, I recommend Prego but I won't judge your preferences.

9. More Leftovers

There are always more leftovers.

10. Pizza

By now you've gone about a solid week since you've been at school, and likely you haven't eaten pizza since. It's only what, ten dollars? And if you get one big enough that can last you a day or two.

11. Various Fruits

There is no shame in eating 12 clementines out of boredom. It's fruit so it's healthy and the calories don't count.

12. Call Your Parent (Whichever one tends to cook more/be more receptive to calls interrupting their workday)

This should be used as a last resort, but if you're going to call someone who has been working all day to ask if they can make your lazy ass food, you should clean the house, organize something, or go grocery shopping. Do something so they don't instantly kill you then and there.

13. Watch Food Network

Nothing makes me want to cook like watching aspiring chefs have their lifelong dreams crushed because they tried to make a risotto in the entree round. And if someone can put together a winning dish with their hand tied behind their back using only 18th-century cooking implements, you can throw together a damn stir fry.