Summer orientation at Stonehill was one of the best experiences I’ve had. Sure, the icebreakers were awkward most of the time, but occasionally you would make a connection with someone who was the same major as you or listened to the same music. My peer mentors were enthusiastic, funny, and all around amazing people. There were many activities that we participated in, ones that we laughed a lot in as well as ones that made us stop and think.
I want to reflect on the last activity that my group, Group 20, did together. One by one, our peer mentors asked us to stand up against a large white board with our backs against it. Then, all of our group members were asked to write one positive thing about the person who was standing in front of the board. With the person’s back against the white board, they aren't able to see what is being written about them. That was stressful because you’ve only known these people for 24 hours. What could they possible know and say about you? After every member of the group got a chance to write something down, one of the peer mentors snapped a photo of us in front of the board with everything our group members had written about us and then erased the board before we walked away. They told us that they would develop the pictures and give them to us at fall orientation. Until then, we were left to wonder what people had written about us.
Flash forward to fall orientation. I forgot about the activity but then the peer mentors began passing them out. I got mine and looked at for a little while. All of the nice things my group members had written about me made me smile but there was one message that really stuck out to me and continues to resonate with me today. Some of the messages included “good personality", “genuine", “friendly” and “really sweet” which are all so nice. My group members have known me for a grand total of 24 hours so they really can’t be much more specific than that. I kept glancing at the photo to reread all of the sweet messages and I looked to the bottom left of the photo at a message that reads “perfect laugh." This comment is the reason I still remember this activity, the reason that I’m reflecting on the activity.
The person who wrote this doesn't know me well at all, yet their compliment wasn't the generic “nice person” comment. It was so much more, maybe not to them as they were writing it, but to me. Anyone that I'm friends with knows that I love to laugh; bad jokes, puns, someone tripping and falling(and not being hurt), you name it, I find it funny. When someone says something that isn't really funny but they intended it to be, I feel bad not laughing and sort of give a half giggle. But, genuine laughter is something I think everyone appreciates. Well, I’m not sure how much the person who tripped and fell appreciates it.
Nowadays, it’s hard to be your complete self in today's society and I think that’s mainly because of the vulnerability that we all hesitantly obtain. If you are being yourself all of the time and people judge you for it, you have nothing to go back on. You can’t justify their judgment by saying that they would have liked you had you just been yourself. In high school, everyone is trying to fit in and oftentimes, that results in an individual displaying one personality to one group of kids and another to a different group. I’m not saying to act the same way around everyone you encounter because you're obviously going to act differently with your friends than with your professors than with your parents etc. It’s not about how you act, it’s about not compromising who you are with the hopes that people will accept you. I finally got to understanding that point, slightly, during my senior year where I surrounded myself with amazing people who were doing the same.
Anyways, what does this have to do with me having a “perfect laugh"? I promised myself that in college, I would be the person that I knew I was. I wasn’t going to try to conform to a certain group with the hopes that I’d have more friends or a better college experience. I promised myself that I would remain true to myself, and have a hell of a good time doing so. Summer orientation was the first step. I did what made ME happy, not my parents, not the people around me, ME. It was refreshingly easier than I thought it would be. Having someone say that I have a “perfect laugh” means a lot to me because I knew that I was completely myself and that the comment was a genuine reflection of that. Recognizing that we are all human beings living in a pressure-driven society, all of our focus goes towards our faults, our flaws and our quirks. When someone genuinely compliments us, we shake it off like its nothing and that they couldn't possible mean it. We don't give ourselves enough credit. We never really acknowledge what we’re doing right and the positive attributes we possess. Those are undermined in the process of tearing ourselves apart about the negatives.
All of these comments are anonymous, so I still don't know who wrote this but I really wish I knew who wrote it. Someone telling me that I have a “perfect laugh” allowed me to take a step back and appreciate my laugh as well as appreciate the person who wrote it. Even if I never find out who wrote it, I want them to know just how much their kind words mean to me. Always remember the impact that your words can make on a person, good and bad because a little over three months later, and I still smile when I look at the photo and the comment.
