"College is supposed to be the best four years of your life!"
For some people, this may be true, but for others, this statement of support and encouragement is unknowingly contributing to feelings of depression and suicidal thoughts. It is always the person that everyone least suspects. The person who posts tons of pictures with friends, involved with the most activities and organizations, and is excelling with a high grade point average; but all of that may just be a cover up for the feelings of darkness that they face on a daily basis.
Suicide rates have nearly tripled among college students since the 1970s. The expectations regarding academic and social experiences have changed, and those who were on top in high school, despite continuing their successful route, feel as though they are now on the bottom when compared to their peers. It can be a bit of a shock when everyone around you is giving the appearance that they are having the perfect college experience.
The key word to focus on is appearance. People are very good actors. We all have periods in our life where we put up a front and make it seem as though something is better than it really is. And since social media has become more of a life influence rather than a mere pastime, it can feel very overwhelming when everyone seems to be having a better time than you. We question ourselves, our efforts, and sometimes, our worth.
For people who have not dealt with depression prior to college, coming to terms with this illness can be especially difficult. Admitting that you need help emotionally can be humiliating, especially when no one around seems to understand what you're talking about. Grades fall and parents assume it is because their child is partying too much. A person starts to isolate themselves and people start to believe that their friend no longer likes them. It is not very often that people try to dig deeper to find out what the real problem is, leaving that person feeling very misunderstood, helpless, and hopeless; resorting to the worst possible solution, suicide.
It is very common for the person's last day to appear just as normal as any other. They attend class, have lunch with a couple of friends, study for a test, but it only takes one moment of isolation for that person to veer off their natural path back to their dorm room and make the choice to end their life. The worst part of it is that the signs were all around, but no one was aware.
"How did I not see this coming?" An unfortunate, yet common question that is asked after the fact. It is not the result of intentional ignorance, but rather a combination of a seemingly perfect social media platform, and lack of awareness. College is known to be a huge change in a person's life, but people are not always prepared for the effects of this change, or how to cope with it. Sometimes, the best coping mechanism is to act as though nothing is wrong at all, in hopes that things will get better.
In order to prevent this tragedy, there are things that can be done on both sides. If you start to feel depressed, know that there are resources in place for you to get help. There are counselors on campus that are willing and ready to talk to you. Some schools even have organizations where people can meet on a weekly basis and discuss their struggles. Although this is not an alternative to professional help, it can be beneficial to talk about your feelings with others who understand what you are going through.
If a friend or family member tells you that they are having feelings of depression or suicidal thoughts, or you notice a change in their behavior, do not ignore it. The signs may be subtle, but that does not make them any less serious. Often times, people do not know how to come forward about their situation because they are nervous about other people's reactions. Make sure that you are available and willing to listen, and validate their feelings. Assist them in getting the proper help as soon as possible.
Mental illness is real, perfect lives are not. It is okay not to be okay, and to ask for help if you need it. Let us do a better job of looking for signs and reaching out to one another more often.
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"Never underestimate the pain of a person, because in all honesty, everyone is struggling. Just some people are better at hiding it than others."
