With age comes experience, and with experience comes a multitude of realizations. In one of many recent realizations, I have come to understand that friendship is a term thrown around so casually, one could argue that it has practically lost its meaning. We live in a world where "best friend" can mean anything from blood brother to slightly more than an acquaintance. Someone you pour your heart and soul out to can become a stranger just like that. It's hard for me to understand how to view close friendships in a temporary way, so it will always be difficult for me to accept that when people walk away from you, it's OK to let them go.
Sometimes people change and drift apart. Sometimes people realize that there is more toxicity than love in a relationship. Sometimes people realize that there was never really a friendship in the first place. Even if the end of a friendship seems like hardest thing to cope with, sometimes it's necessary to cut ties in order to remove negativity from your life. Sometimes, no matter how much you want to fix things, they're just not meant to be. Some people place more value on friendship than others, and if you're that person, you have to learn when it's OK to say goodbye.
It's easier said then done. It's so difficult to stand back and watch a friendship that you care about fade away, but sometimes it's the right thing to do, because if someone is willing to walk away from you, then they aren't worth it. If someone isn't willing to reciprocate the effort to keep you in their life, then they aren't worth it. If someone doesn't care enough to work things out, then they just aren't worth it. Sometimes people make mistakes, and sometimes things fall apart, but a real best friend sticks around to put things back together. True friendships will survive a never-ending series of mistakes and fights because true friendships don't end.
A real friend should feel a lot like family, and that doesn't mean that you have to like them all the time. It means that even when you seriously dislike them, you still love them, because family isn't temporary. It means that when the other person screws up, you forgive them. Family relationships are permanent, and that's what makes them so special. Anger, annoyance, distance and mistakes don't cancel out familial love, and they don't cancel out a real friendship.
For some people, moving on is easy, but if you're anything like me, every ounce of your being will tell you to fight for a friendship that hangs in the balance. The urge to reconcile and make things right will nag at you and the stress can be all-consuming. Contrary to those feelings, sometimes it's necessary to take a step back and realize that not everyone in your life is there to stay. It's OK to let people go, because the people who are willing to stick by you through all the ups and downs, the ones who, despite any issues, you're never afraid of losing, those are the ones who really matter in the end.
