After being in college and living as an adult for two years, I have learned to let go of my high school tendencies. However, most of my old graduating class hasn't, and it's not OK anymore.
We entered high school as one person, and we were expected to leave as the more mature versions of ourselves. That was not at all the case for 90 percent of my high school. It's hard to let go of the past with people who have either bullied you or made your life a living hell when they still carry out old problems three years later. I moved six hours away from Brooklyn, New York, and the drama still follows me. The people that "hated" me in high school are still the ones giving me grief now. Even the small group of girls that I stayed close with have turned on me, and that's OK. What isn't OK is the amount of problems they all try to start.
Recommended for you
I can't post a Facebook status or send out a tweet without being mocked. I can't share a political view or something that matters to me, because hey, it'll probably offend someone I used to be friends with. When I say I have taken every route to eliminating these people out of my life, trust me, I've tried it. But for some reason, they don't take the hint. Blocking gets taken as a joke, and as soon as someone is blocked, I get wind of a tweet complaining about it. Question: why am I going to allow people who clearly don't like me to see my social media accounts? Why am I going to feed into the stress they are all causing for themselves? I mean don't get me wrong, it hurts sometimes. But for the main part, it's more of an annoyance. The best part of it all is when problems do arise and the group takes to Twitter to publicly try and start problems, yet when confronted one-on-one, they have nothing to say. But, as you can imagine, once one person gets involved, everyone gets involved.You would probably think that in our 20s we would learn how to settle problems maturely, but hey, having a group chat called "No Maria" that gets shared all over the place works too. Insults such as "fat" and "ugly" get thrown around, because they are really the worst things that a person could be. I was even told "I'm tan and you're not!" as a valid argument once -- as you can probably imagine, that one really got to me. And mind you, this isn't just one or two people I am speaking of -- it's an entire graduating class and then some who still haven't let go of past problems.
I went to a Catholic high school, so as you can imagine there is almost a zero tolerance policy for petty drama and problems. However, that got taken to a whole new level. As a student, I was never able to defend myself if problems did arise, because the dean would check social media and call you into his office to settle it. Looking back, I can't justify that. In the real world, we don't have a "higher up authority" to go to when someone tries to bother us -- we are expected to deal with it. We are the adults in our lives now, and there are no more teachers or principals to go to when someone starts a problem. So, because of that, I have taken a stand. I no longer sit back and allow people to say what they want to me and act how they want towards me. I'm strong and argumentative, and I have no problem confronting those who try to bring me down, regardless of what the situation may be.
For anyone that has experienced this, don't let it get to you. Stick up for yourself, realize that you are an awesome person, and it's their problem, not yours. You are in college to better yourself as a person, experience new things and you'll never be able to do all of that if you let people from your past bother you. They aren't worth it. Even though you may hear stories of people having the "best group of friends from back home" or hear of people who only communicate with their high school peers, it's OK if you don't. It's OK to live and let go, and you should never feel bad about being who you are, even if people don't like you. It's better to have a few friends, or even no friends than to stick around with people who constantly bring you down. Love yourself for who you are, and that will trump anyone who doesn't like you.
