This week I've found myself unceremoniously not passionately angry about things, probably all the yoga I've been doing (shoutout to my husband for the gift card for yoga classes he got me for Christmas). So, instead, I've decided to breakdown the anatomy of the different kinds of people one comes across in any given yoga class.
The Extreme Yogi Star:
They know all the moves before the instructor even demonstrates them and typically take everything to its fullest extension. Like, who knew a human could grab their foot in that pose? Everyone’s chilling out in child’s pose for a second and Extreme Yogi Star is popping into a headstand. Chill.
Hippy boy:
They already have long hair and even a few “spiritual” tattoos, so why not try out yoga? You don't even need shoes. And then halfway through they're massaging their hamstrings and looking really confused and possibly a little scared. Who are they now? Does this mean they have to cut their hair and get a desk job?
Little Miss Savasana:
No joke, I actually was in a class once where a woman came in, rolled out her mat, laid down, and napped the entire 90 minutes. This may not be normal in a yoga class, but I really wanted to tell this story cause like that's the most expensive nap I've ever witnessed.
Back Row Bender:
They've always got to have the back row, preferably the back corner, so no one can see them embarrassingly fall over during every balancing pose. And if you're wondering, yes, this is the category I fit into.
Cardio Poser:
They've just read on their favorite “fitness motivation” blog that yoga is all the rage. So they show up in their LuLu Lemon attire, ready to burn some calories. And in the process, they totally suck the fun out of the whole yoga process.
Chatty Stretcher:
They usually come in late, then sit by their friend that they sit next to every class. And then, as if the class hasn't begun, they talk to them. Just catching casually up while I'm trying to focus on my down dog. Also why are you whispering? Am I doing this wrong? This is why I'm in the back.
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