I've always puzzled over the idea that "people change." What does that mean? Is there a certain time limit that change can occur before it's too late? When people change, do they alter their habits and mindsets? Or is it just a made-up concept that people say to feel good about themselves when forgiving someone?
I want to believe that people grow up and learn from their mistakes by being a "better, changed person," but the odds of someone changing their mannerisms in a matter of months, or years seems very slim. I want to believe that people who have wronged me are capable of learning from their mistakes and vow to never repeat their mistakes but I will never truly know if they do. I learned that forgiveness is actually a huge factor in your mental and physical health. When we are mindful of our feelings and take the time to forgive someone for what they've done to us, be it infidelity, betrayal, or lying, our health improves 100%. Holding grudges and anger towards people only inhibits your ability to be happy and grow.
Years ago, I had a friend severely betrayed me. I never expected to feel hurt by someone who I had known for a long time and confided in. When trust is broken in a friendship, it sometimes feels worse than a heartbreak. I held a grudge against her for a long time, to the point where I couldn't even look at her. But I have learned, everyone makes mistakes and even if they don't learn from them, it is better to forgive and move on than to stay angry. The past is the past and you have to be confident in yourself that you will never let someone like that back into your life. Although I will never forget, I have learned to forgive people for the hurt they have caused and I do feel freer because of it.
The question of whether or not someone changes doesn't matter in the end. The point is YOU change and constantly shift your mindset every day. Each day you have the ability to create new relationships, forgive people, and do what's best for you. Forgiveness and acceptance is just the first step in living a happier, healthier life.
