What a life it is to live every day to serve others. Does this make me a people pleaser? Maybe. But why does that have to come with a negative connotation and a side of doormat and a$$ kisser? I know when to stand up for myself, and I sometimes avoid conflict. I think everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but that doesn't mean I don't take it personally sometimes. Call me what you want, but I believe you truly have the ability to find yourself in service to others. Is it always easy? No. But if it was, everyone else would do it. Take a look into the real life, everyday struggles of a self-proclaimed people pleaser, which we wouldn't necessarily call struggles because that's not very pleasing.
1. Just can't say no.
It's just not that easy to say no. We can do anything we set our minds to. They asked me for a reason. We don't want to let them down. Yes, I can stop and get some coffee, yes, I'll volunteer for that, yes, I'll do it all!
2. Everyone else comes first.
I'll do this, this, this and this and then I'll do what I have to do. Sometimes this means priorities can seem out of line, but at least you aren't letting anyone down! If everyone else is happy, I'm happy!
3. Avoid confrontation.
I am a firm believer in everyone having their own opinion and reasoning. Oh, she cut me off? She must be in a hurry, I'm sure she had a reason. Now this may come after a deep breath or five, and it may not be true at all, but if there doesn't have to be a conflict, don't make a conflict.
4. Decisions are hard.
Every decision is made carefully, considering the effects of everyone involved and weighing the pros and cons of each choice.
5. Anger is a waste of time.
Along the same line of avoiding confrontation, we avoid anger. There is no need to be angry, or to stay angry, you could be doing a lot more productive things with that time and energy! Kill em with kindness!
6. You're always the "peacemaker" of the group.
Life is better when we all get along! Life is good! Everyone is happy!
7. You love giving to people.
There is nothing greater than seeing the smile on someone's face after giving them something. The feeling you have is your gift to yourself! You never know if that one smile you give someone may change their entire day! Pay it forward.
8. You have a hard time asking for or accepting help.
You can do whatever you set your mind to! There's no stopping you! What's sleep? I don't know, but I got it all done!
9. Strives for perfection.
Everything I do should be my best, there's no reason I should settle for less than that if I'm the one doing it!
10. Chronic overuse of apologies.
"I'm sorry." Even though I didn't do it, I just don't want you to think I'm mad at you!
11. Believes others' happiness is your responsibility.
You can do something everyday to brighten someone's day. You never know when someone needs a smile or a friendly hello. Why shouldn't we go out of our way to make others happy?
12. You're a firm believer in "everything happens for a reason."
You make the best out of whatever comes your way, because it's there for a reason!
Struggle is a strong word. While researching for this article, I found such negative connotation of this "disorder" or "illness" as people called it, how to fix it, how to stop these ideas. There is a difference between being a people-pleaser and serving others. With a little sass and self-respect maybe we can just call this being a server or a lover.
All of these things can change your outlook on life. There is a fine line between being a lover or people-pleaser and a pushover. You can be confident, know who you are and what you want and still go out of your way to make someone else's day better. This article has equipped you to do so, so I challenge you to try to live each day with a bigger smile, lend a hand, hold a door, be a people-pleaser; be a lover.
After all, it's not that bad, incase you think it is because then may it is kinda bad, because you have a right to think so.
