Here's a song to set the mood.
The [winter] holidays are a very community-oriented time. When people say they’re spending the holidays alone, the people who hear are horrified and try their best to remedy this. And while I think there is nothing wrong with having some time alone and it is, at times, necessary, I think it’s hard to be alone during the holiday season. It’s hard to be missing people at any time, but the holidays are a particularly stark reminder.
Even if you’re not entirely alone, you can still be missing someone. Maybe you’re in a long-distance relationship and you were not able to be together for whatever reason the past couple weeks. Maybe you’ve recently moved away from your family and are spending the holidays with new people you have yet to create any traditions with. Maybe you recently lost someone in your family. Maybe you just broke up with your significant other or had a row with a family member.
Whatever the reason, the holidays just aren’t the same without whoever you’re missing. No matter how hard you try, there is this empty feeling, this expectation of what the season should be like or would have been like, if only ____ had(n’t) happened. And to everyone who understands this feeling, who have made it to this point, I want you to know you’re not alone. Midst everyone else’s warm and happy holiday posts, pictures, and videos, everyone who does not fully appreciate what they have because they’ve never been without it, there are still people like you right now. There are other people who wish the season would be over and low-key can’t stand the social media posts, the music playing in every shop, the incessant, inescapable reminders that this year, something is different.
It sucks to have to feel that way. And I’m not going to tell you to, you know, in the spirit of Christmas or whatever winter holidays you celebrate, just be happy and let go of whatever is making you sad.
It’s okay to be sad, even right now. Or maybe especially right now. You’re allowed to miss someone even when the colorful lights are twinkling and the smell of home-cooked something wafts through the air. Even when you’re surrounded by people who care for you. It’s not that you’re not grateful for everything and everyone; it’s just that there’s this hole in your life that you’re acutely aware of all of a sudden.
I’m sorry you feel like this. I’m sorry the holidays are something you really can’t handle right now. All the things I am about to say are simply gentle pieces of advice, not foolproof solutions or something else someone is pressuring you to try. I don’t want you to wallow in sadness, but I implore you to sit with it. Acknowledge its presence to yourself and to the people around you, if you feel comfortable with that. Don’t force yourself to be happy for the sake of the holidays, but don’t mope and shut everyone out. Approach each emotion without expectation. Write down how it feels or talk about it or even make art inspired by it because catharsis is a thing.
You’ll make it through this. I believe in you. And if you’re feeling particularly low, I have a list of things to remember when life sucks.
