To All The People I've Canceled On, I'm Sorry | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

To All The People I've Canceled On, I'm Sorry, It's Just Hard To Be Honest When You Feel So Small

An open letter to all the people I've had to cancel on.

419
To All The People I've Canceled On, I'm Sorry, It's Just Hard To Be Honest When You Feel So Small

To All The People I've Canceled On,

I want to see you. I really do. I got up to get ready, but my reflection was empty. I pulled all my tricks; I curled my hair, painted my nails, put on my favorite outfit, but I still felt bad. Overwhelmingly bad. So bad I had to crawl back in bed and count my breaths to keep them from escaping too fast.

My body feels heavy and tired, but I had already canceled on you last week so I have to try again. Sometimes the feeling passes, but today is a tough one. It's as if the harder I try to push forward, the stronger my heart thumps. The knot in my throat chokes me as I try to tell myself that I can do it and that everything will be alright. But today, it is not alright.

So I texted you with tears in my eyes apologizing because I can't make it. It's not intentional, it never is. I really want to go to lunch or the beach or the movies. I want to get fresh air and be in another's company.

My mind and body are at war with each other, and today was simply caught in the crossfire. This constant anxiety is something that I have to live with and today I couldn't figure out how to shut it off. It rings so loud in my mind that I can physically feel it in my body. I try my best to make it work because I value our friendship. Today, it just didn't happen. You've heard my excuses; they've been overused. I say I'm sick or I forgot I had an assignment due, but you know it's a lie. It's hard to be honest with people, though, when you already feel so small.

Please don't be angry at me for this. I wish I could be there. I can't promise you that I'll make it the next time or any other time after that. I can't promise that if I do make it out that I'll be able to stay. But I can promise you that I will try and try again to be the friend that you need and the person you want to keep inviting out. I promise that my intentions are always good and that I plan on attending every date. But today I canceled on you and I'm sorry. I hope to see you soon.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Entertainment

15 Times Michael Scott's Life Was Worse Than Your Life

Because have you ever had to endure grilling your foot on a George Foreman?

991
Michael Scott
NBC

Most of the time, the world's (self-proclaimed) greatest boss is just that, the greatest. I mean, come on, he's Michael Freakin' Scott after all! But every once in a while, his life hits a bit of a speed bump. (or he actually hits Meredith...) So if you personally are struggling through a hard time, you know what they say: misery loves company! Here are 15 times Michael Scott's life was worse than your life:

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

12 Midnight NYE: Fun Ideas!

This isn't just for the single Pringles out there either, folks

15941
Friends celebrating the New Years!
StableDiffusion

When the clock strikes twelve midnight on New Year's Eve, do you ever find yourself lost regarding what to do during that big moment? It's a very important moment. It is the first moment of the New Year, doesn't it seem like you should be doing something grand, something meaningful, something spontaneous? Sure, many decide to spend the moment on the lips of another, but what good is that? Take a look at these other suggestions on how to ring in the New Year that are much more spectacular and exciting than a simple little kiss.

Keep Reading...Show less
piano
Digital Trends

I am very serious about the Christmas season. It's one of my favorite things, and I love it all from gift-giving to baking to the decorations, but I especially love Christmas music. Here are 11 songs you should consider adding to your Christmas playlists.

Keep Reading...Show less
campus
CampusExplorer

New year, new semester, not the same old thing. This semester will be a semester to redeem all the mistakes made in the previous five months.

1. I will wake up (sorta) on time for class.

Let's face it, last semester you woke up with enough time to brush your teeth and get to class and even then you were about 10 minutes late and rollin' in with some pretty unfortunate bed head. This semester we will set our alarms, wake up with time to get ready, and get to class on time!

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

The 5 Painfully True Stages Of Camping Out At The Library

For those long nights that turn into mornings when the struggle is real.

3308
woman reading a book while sitting on black leather 3-seat couch
Photo by Seven Shooter on Unsplash

And so it begins.

1. Walk in motivated and ready to rock

Camping out at the library is not for the faint of heart. You need to go in as a warrior. You usually have brought supplies (laptop, chargers, and textbooks) and sustenance (water, snacks, and blanket/sweatpants) since the battle will be for an undetermined length of time. Perhaps it is one assignment or perhaps it's four. You are motivated and prepared; you don’t doubt the assignment(s) will take time, but you know it couldn’t be that long.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments