Why don’t nonbelievers and even some believers trust us Christians? Why is it some people have such a hard time with opening up to those of us who claim to know God and practice his love? Could it be that similar to myself at times, they are realizing that someone can love all they want and look the part but if they cannot hold their tongue or use discretion to figure out what and when to speak that they are bound to do more harm than healing? I think so. Discretion is defined as the quality of behaving or speaking in such a way as to avoid causing offense or revealing private information. Wait. You mean to tell me that just because it is my business, does not mean it is someone else’s? Or that even though Amy Lou has trusted me with information once does not mean that every detail of her life after that moment is not mine to share? Get out. Impossible.
Sound familiar? I am sure that it does. This concept rings so close to my heart and is often something I find to be a cause of a couple different heart wounds that are still healing. If you are a nonbeliever or someone who does not actively to go church or a campus ministry, let me speak on behalf of someone who has hurt others with my lack of discretion and genuinely had no idea: I am sorry. I am sorry that what you told me in confidence was shared with those that you did not yet know or trust. I am sorry that I expected to be the first person or at least high on the list of people you would tell with certain news even though I did not clearly define that expectation and it was not yours to meet. I am sorry. Discretion is a hard practice and one that many do not understand but that doesn’t mean the God who loves you doesn’t understand it. He created it even if his people are not always great stewards of it.
Mark 1:21-25
21 They went to Capernaum, and when the Sabbath came, Jesus went into the synagogue and began to teach. 22 The people were amazed at his teaching, because he taught them as one who had authority, not as the teachers of the law. 23 Just then a man in their synagogue who was possessed by an impure spirit cried out, 24 “What do you want with us, Jesus of Nazareth? Have you come to destroy us? I know who you are—the Holy One of God!” 25 “Be quiet!” said Jesus sternly. “Come out of him!”
Jesus clearly quiets the demons even though what they were speaking was true. He was/is the Messiah but it was not in God’s plan for that information to be revealed at that time. Had it been revealed people may have begun to follow Jesus because he could heal them and they could use him not because he was the Son of God. Clearly even the demons practiced discretion when under the authority of Christ. The following proverbs also talk greatly about what type of person uses discretion and what it will do for you. Whether protection means protection from hurt or protecting your friendships. Understand of timing or understanding of the situation that you are not fully aware of. Knowledge in your language or knowledge of empathy as it relates to others.
- Proverbs 2:11 “discretion will protect you and understanding will guard you”
- Proverbs 3:21 “…do not let wisdom and understanding out of your sight, preserve sound judgement and discretion”
- Proverbs 5:2 “that you may maintain discretion and your lips preserve knowledge”
- Proverbs 11:22 “like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman who knows no discretion”
Either way it goes, as believers and followers of Christ we must exercise more discretion in our friendships, ministries, relationships and conversations if we wish to gain the trust of those around us and maintain it throughout our lives. To you people who have been harmed by someone’s lack of discretion, forgive them. Surely they did not know the damage their words, expectations and timing could do, at least those in my life didn’t.
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