OK, hear me out. I’m a sophomore in college, my friends are moving away and I’m working five days a week at Walgreens… I do not have much going for me at this point in my life. Granted, I just bought a new car, have perfect health and am fortunate enough to be attending college but there's something that really irritates me a lot. That thing I’m talking about is Snapchat and before you ask, no it is not Snapchat itself that bothers me but it is the users. Don’t get me wrong, I love myself a good dog filter selfie or spending my whole lunch break catching up on what Kylie Jenner has done for the past day but these are the things that bring me back to Snapchat every 30 seconds; what really deters me from it is the so called “friends” I thought I had on Snapchat that let our streaks end. Like um, hello? Where did you get the audacity to not Snapchat me a picture of your Starbucks coffee or that dreaded black screen with the word “streak” across it? When did you all of a sudden decide that I wasn’t worth the whole 15 seconds it takes to send a picture of your dog huh? As you can tell, this is a very hot topic for me and I am sure that if you know me as a person, I would have all kinds of head bobs and hand claps happening as I write and probably read this article back.
Alright, I get it, I know what you’re thinking; “Adam, stop being so insane,” “Adam, go get a hobby,” or even “Adam, why do you care so much?” Why do I care so much? Do you even hear yourself? I am a single man on the prowl for a future husband and what better way to test his devotion to me than Snapchat. If my future man is out there, you best believe we are going to start Snapchatting and probably develop a streak and if mister future husband breaks that streak, mister future husband quickly just became mister not my future husband. And I know what you’re thinking “Adam, there’s no way you would actually break up with someone if they broke a Snapchat streak is there?” If you honestly thought the answer to that hypothetical question was something along the lines of “of course not!” or “oh my gosh, I would never!” then it is very clear that you do not know me as a person. If you think I would not break up with someone because they broke a Snapchat streak we had, I have two words for you… try me.
Now that my rant is over, I’m going to happily take the last fifty words of this article to shamelessly promote my own Snapchat channel. You can follow me on Snapchat and Twitter at “stony226” if you want to see just how crazy, boring, overall uneventful and sarcastic I and my life truly am (if this article wasn't enough already). And for those of you fancy fellas out there, below you'll find my Snapcode that you can scan, but remember, if you plan on adding me on Snapchat and we start a streak, please be aware of the commitment you are entering!
