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13 Ways Pennywise Could Lure Any Basic AF Millennial Into The Sewer

Alexandra Thomas

Oct 26, 2017

Robert Morris University

158

13 Ways Pennywise Could Lure Any Basic AF Millennial Into The Sewer

The Verge

Well, it's officially fall, and with the return of the Pumpkin Spice Latte at Starbucks, basic girls (and guys) everywhere are rejoicing.

Also, with the recent release of "It," many have been asking the same question: What would make you join Pennywise in the sewer? Personally, I'm not sure a paper boat would do it, but it got me wondering...how difficult would it be for Pennywise to lure a basic AF millennial into the sewer?

My conclusion: not difficult at all. Here are 13 ways Pennywise could easily lure any basic.

1. PSL (Obviously)

2. "There's BOGO Uggs Down Here"

3. Free Wine

4. "Unlimited Froyo"

5. Victoria's Secret Anything

6. "Ryan Gosling Is Down Here"

7. Brunch (and Mimosa!)

8. Bath & Body Works Candles

9. Unlimited Forever 21 Merchandise

10. "I Have The Secret To The Perfect Eyeliner Wing"

11. "There's Chipotle Down Here"

12. "I Have The Newest iPhone"

13. Okay, okay, Pennywise. Truth is: Just take off the clown makeup and we'll follow you anywhere.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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13 Ways Pennywise Could Lure Any Basic AF Millennial Into The Sewer

1. PSL (Obviously)

2. "There's BOGO Uggs Down Here"

3. Free Wine

4. "Unlimited Froyo"

5. Victoria's Secret Anything

6. "Ryan Gosling Is Down Here"

7. Brunch (and Mimosa!)

8. Bath & Body Works Candles

9. Unlimited Forever 21 Merchandise

10. "I Have The Secret To The Perfect Eyeliner Wing"

11. "There's Chipotle Down Here"

12. "I Have The Newest iPhone"

13. Okay, okay, Pennywise. Truth is: Just take off the clown makeup and we'll follow you anywhere.

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Do you have a small get-together or throw a big bash?

1. Your family and friends ask what you want for your birthday, so you give them a list of options.

2. You're super excited about your birthday the week before.

3. Your family flies in town to celebrate with you.

4. Your siblings wake you up.

5. Your friends are so excited to be with you on your big day.

6. If you work, your office might throw a party for you.

7. For your actual party, you plan a small get-together with close family and friends ...

8. ... or large celebration with everyone you know.

9. You eat the best meal you've had in weeks.

10. You devour the first piece of cake proudly.

11. You embarrass yourself somehow.

12. You get the present you really wanted but thought no one would get you.

13. You are a little sad about getting older.

14. That feeling wears off and you realize how happy you are to have family and friends to celebrate this day with you.

15. The morning after your birthday looks something like this.

Syllabus week doesn't exist.

All names should be "unisex names."

1. Communicating via email can be awkward.

2. Appointments usually accompany weird looks.

3. Introducing yourself to someone is never without a hitch.

4. You’ve probably thought about changing your name.

5. You’re often asked why you have the name you do.

6. You get excited when you meet someone of your gender with your name.

7. You feel awkward when you meet someone of the opposite gender with your name.

8. You’ve had someone say to you, “I knew a [your name], but they were [your opposite gender].”

9. You’ve heard a bad joke/pick-up line or two about your name before.

10. People are surprised when they see you.

11. You’re extra sensitive to other unique or unisex names.

12. You’ve fought with your parents about it.

13. All things considered, you’re happy your name makes you unique.

You know that all of these things apply to you. You'll just never tell.

I get it... I'm pale.

1. At least I can't lose you in a crowd!

2. Oh my goodness your skin is like glow-in-the-dark.

3. Can't you just get fake tan?

4. Do you tan or just burn?

5. Your kids are going to look like Casper the Friendly Ghost!

6. *holds arm against your arm* Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. *holds pale arm against another pale arm* Aw, at least you're darker than her!

8. I laid out by the pool almost every day over break!

9. I haven't used sunscreen since I was, like, five.

10. *adjusts selfie lighting to their face* Oops, where'd you go??

11. *after working out* Your face is SO red!

12. *wears white* Look! You're all one color!

13. You need to get some sun.

14. Aren't you excited for summer?

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6. holds arm against your arm Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. holds pale arm against another pale arm Aw, at least you're darker than her!

10. adjusts selfie lighting to their face Oops, where'd you go??

11. after working out Your face is SO red!

12. wears white Look! You're all one color!