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13 Ways Pennywise Could Lure Any Basic AF Millennial Into The Sewer

Alexandra Thomas

Oct 26, 2017

Robert Morris University

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13 Ways Pennywise Could Lure Any Basic AF Millennial Into The Sewer

The Verge

Well, it's officially fall, and with the return of the Pumpkin Spice Latte at Starbucks, basic girls (and guys) everywhere are rejoicing.

Also, with the recent release of "It," many have been asking the same question: What would make you join Pennywise in the sewer? Personally, I'm not sure a paper boat would do it, but it got me wondering...how difficult would it be for Pennywise to lure a basic AF millennial into the sewer?

My conclusion: not difficult at all. Here are 13 ways Pennywise could easily lure any basic.

1. PSL (Obviously)

2. "There's BOGO Uggs Down Here"

3. Free Wine

4. "Unlimited Froyo"

5. Victoria's Secret Anything

6. "Ryan Gosling Is Down Here"

7. Brunch (and Mimosa!)

8. Bath & Body Works Candles

9. Unlimited Forever 21 Merchandise

10. "I Have The Secret To The Perfect Eyeliner Wing"

11. "There's Chipotle Down Here"

12. "I Have The Newest iPhone"

13. Okay, okay, Pennywise. Truth is: Just take off the clown makeup and we'll follow you anywhere.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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13 Ways Pennywise Could Lure Any Basic AF Millennial Into The Sewer

1. PSL (Obviously)

2. "There's BOGO Uggs Down Here"

3. Free Wine

4. "Unlimited Froyo"

5. Victoria's Secret Anything

6. "Ryan Gosling Is Down Here"

7. Brunch (and Mimosa!)

8. Bath & Body Works Candles

9. Unlimited Forever 21 Merchandise

10. "I Have The Secret To The Perfect Eyeliner Wing"

11. "There's Chipotle Down Here"

12. "I Have The Newest iPhone"

13. Okay, okay, Pennywise. Truth is: Just take off the clown makeup and we'll follow you anywhere.

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Because have you ever had to endure grilling your foot on a George Foreman?

1. When he just wanted bacon from his George Foreman grill

2. When he had money (and Jan) issues

3. When he got upstaged at Phyllis' wedding

4. When he unintentionally saved Meredith from rabies

5. When he wore a "bisexual" suit

6. When he had to apologize to Jesus

7. When his GPS drove him into a lake

8. When he had to deal with Ryan as his boss

9. When he couldn't fulfill his most generous empty promise

10. When this happened

11. When he struggled with a X-Mas break up

12. When he had to defend his generosity

13. When he threw a classy Christmas party for Holly but she had a boyfriend

14. When he had to stand up to peer pressure

15. When Toby was "Toby-ish"

This isn't just for the single Pringles out there either, folks

Run Around Clanging Pots and Pans in Everyone's Face

Eat the Last Few Pigs in a Blanket

Pop Twelve White Grapes

Burn Something

Smash Things Against a Wall

Spontaneously Begin an Irish Jig

Call Your Mother

Throw a Coffee Table Out a Window

Sing "Auld Lang Syne" at the Top of Your Lungs

Do Some Squats

Swan Dive into a Nearly Freezing Body of Water

Take a Shot

Time to be merry and bright.

"First Noel" by Leslie Odom, Jr

"A Holly Jolly Christmas" by Burl Ives

"Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" by Kelly Clarkson

"All I Want for Christmas Is You" by Mariah Carey

"Christmas (Baby Please Come Home" by Michael Buble

"Last Christmas" by Taylor Swift

"The Christmas Song" by Josh Groban

"White Christmas" by Idina Menzel

"O Holy Night" by David Archuleta

"Believe" by Josh Groban

"Les cloches du hameau" by Celine Dion

Or at least try to do.

1. I will wake up (sorta) on time for class.

2. I will look decent for class.

3. I will go to the gym more.

4. I will go to the library and study more.

5. I will meet new people.

For those long nights that turn into mornings when the struggle is real.

1. Walk in motivated and ready to rock

2. Disappointed you let it get this bad

3. Distracted: When a 10-Minute Break Becomes an Hour

4. When the Yearning for Sleep Sneaks Up

5. In the words of Lorelai Gilmore "Coffee, Coffee, Coffee"

Oh, so done.

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