As a young adult the weekend rolling around usually means one thing, partying. Some people even start a little early on Thursday, but it's pretty predictable that by around 3 pm on Friday afternoon whether you're clocking out of work, or just getting home from your last class of the day that you'll have at least a couple different invitations from various friends inviting you to come out with them for happy hour, or dinner and drinks, or a pregame before a night of bar-hopping later that night. After you decide to join, suddenly it's Saturday morning, you're nursing a hangover with some warm Gatorade and Jimmy John's, you're out $40 and your friends are already texting to you come day drink by the pool before yet another night out. Not wanting to miss out, and spend the night home alone feeling left out and bored you drag yourself out and rally. This might seem like fun, constantly having something to do with your friends, getting to relax and unwind after a long stressful week of meetings, classes, work, and tests. But at what point does this constant pressure to keep up with everyone and partying become a problem? Well the answer isn't easy, and it is different for everyone. Some people enjoy and thrive in different kinds of lifestyles, and even that can change as we get older and our life evolves, while some people will never enjoy that kind of fun no matter how young and carefree they are. The important thing is to recognize when it becomes more stressful than fun, and when the reason you go out changes from wanting to have fun with friends, to not wanting to be left out or because you feel like you have to.
From a young age our parents and teachers have lectured us on the dangers of peer pressure. What it looks like in its many forms, how it might come from bullies, or friends, and most importantly, how to say no. So why is that we as college students can't seem to figure out how to do something we have been learning to do since kindergarten. Why is it so hard for us to say no? When we first get to college we want to meet people, and make friends, explore the party scene, and find ourselves, so we say yes to opportunities to do all those things. After a year or two we already have friends and relationships and we continue to say yes in order to maintain them. Fast forward to post-grad life and we might need to keep partying as way to meet new people in a new town, or form relationships at work, or as a way to keep up friendships and date in a new setting. You should never feel like the only way to meet people is out at bars or by partying all night. And if they only way you and your friends or people you're dating enjoy hanging out is by going out for drinks or spending the evening each with your own bottle of wine, than you don't have a friendship you have a drinking buddy. If you're friends are all about going out and you want to join them then go for it, but if the idea of having to get ready and go out and spend money all night sounds more stressful than relaxing than make other plans with your friends, and skip the night out. Maybe you want to do both and that's great too, just find a balance that never makes you feel like partying is a necessary thing and the only way to be social.
But it's not just our friends who we might feel pressure to party from, maybe you and your friends are all totally on the same page and are always down to skip the happy hour crowd in favor for a chill movie night, or take out dinner at home. But when social media becomes one big promotion for all the local bars and clubs, with everyone on your insta feed posting cute "squad" pics in their trendiest outfits with loaded coronas or y-bombs in hand you might start feeling like you need to keep up to fit in, or that you should be out with your friends in cute outfits taking pictures instead of hanging out at home. And especially today when social media and social status are so closely intertwined it can be hard to let go of this feeling that you should be doing what everyone else is doing because "look how much fun they are having" or thoughts like "look how cute and fun they all look". But the thing is most of these pictures are taken to send that exact message. You don't see how the whole night, or next morning is for everyone, and you don't have to compare yourself to them. This isn't to say that you shouldn't plan a fun night out and document it with all your friends. Because a lot of times it is fun. The whole point is to make sure you're doing it for the right reason, because you genuinely want to and because have fun doing it. Don't feel bad or lame to take a Saturday night off every now and then; you're still fun and cool. If you miss out on one happy hour with your friends there will be many more, trust me. And if you ever feel like partying and drinking is becoming a way for you to cope with real issues like anxiety, depression, or stress than don't hesitate to get real help for your real problems so that you can get back to going out for the only reason you ever should, because you want to not because you feel like you need to.
