The Pecha Kucha is a Japanese tradition of storytelling through images that's been recently adopted in America. It is an oral presentation consisting of 20 slides timed at 20 seconds each, and the speaker is required to speak in line with each slide.
I had no idea what a Pecha Kucha was until it was a class assignment. Doing the Pecha Kucha really got me thinking and re-evaluating my life. I decided to be vulnerable and speak my truth in front of everyone so they understand why I am the way I am and how it all went down, to begin with.
I plan is to talk about the role fear has played in shaping who I am today and how I plan to change the way I live. Since many of my readers will not be viewing my presentation, I'd like to share a little something from it.
I will be going through my life story chronologically, but it will also be linked to the level of my fear.
I will build up to my biggest fear and to my present.
This will be a kind of time travel for the audience. I only hope I can convey the same thing I want to say in my presentation in this article.
I have written before about some of my biggest fears. I have also said that fear still overwhelms me. Although the struggle continues, I am working hard and making progress to silence it.
We start with my childhood, when I was bullied for a variety of reasons.
My inherent sensitivity made me an easy target for bullying. I was soft and impressionable when I was younger. I was bullied for being who I was at the time. I felt like I was not good enough. I also lived my life according to what they thought of me. Their thoughts were facts in my mind. I know I should have known their opinions were not facts, but I couldn't separate those two things.
Later in life, I began to need validation from others.
I never knew I was good enough unless I got some sign of acceptance from others. Not being accepted when I was younger made it hard, and still makes it hard, to be myself.
I care a lot—too much—about what others think of me. How others react to me and treat me still hang over my head. I have a hard time forgetting these things.
I also fear being alone.
I have felt all alone despite being surrounded by people. I have also had my fair share of fake friends, the ones that made me seem expendable.
My biggest fear is the fear of being myself.
I have the best idea I have ever had about the kind of person I am at this point in my life, but I am still afraid. I am afraid of being myself and still not being good enough, for myself or for others.
Someone told me recently that the people who reject you are all the wrong kinds of people.
I guess by that logic I have known no one but the wrong kinds of people, because I know now that I am amazing no matter what the wrong people say about me.
The Pecha Kucha saved my sense of self.
I feel more confident about myself, but I also have reinforced the self-love I have. I always thought repeating how much I love myself would convince myself this was true. The truth is, I hadn't lived my life enough to know who I am, and I needed a self to love.
I do love me. I am a good person. The Pecha Kucha has brought on a transformation and reflective period for me. I would recommend trying the Pecha Kucha even just to have a fun night with friends. It can be so much fun, even more so with total strangers you know nothing about.
My experience solved my existential crisis. Who knows what it can do for you?
