Pearls of Wisdom About Men: 5 Nuggets From My Dad
Growing up in a house where women dominated, my sisters and I didn’t receive too much information about how men operated. My parents married young so there wasn’t a ton of experience to pull from and we didn’t have brothers to ask those burning questions about boys. Having 4 daughters, my father saw many a boy trample through the house to shake his hand as they escorted one his daughters off on a date. He rarely became involved in our love lives but on that unique occasion, he offered these nuggets of wisdom:
- “Men are brought up to believe that the sun rises and sets on their assholes, it takes a good woman to show them it doesn’t.” He said this to both my sister Helene and I on separate occasions. I still remember at 21 coming home after my much older boyfriend told me he was cheating on me. I had the fortitude to break it off but was heartbroken. I lay on my bed in tears and my father walked in my room, sat down on the edge of the bed and started the conversation off with, “I’m only going to say this once…”
- “Why should they purchase the cow when they are getting the milk for free.” My sisters and I all heard this at some point in time or another. We believe it was a reverse psychology move to get us to abstain from sex. Then again, he could be correct. You also have to want marriage in order to buy into this one.
- “…one of the reasons why I stayed true to your mother was because of the STD’s out there.” I’m sure this made my mother feel a certain type of way but I'm also sure it was yet another ploy to get us to avoid sex, unfortunately it did not work.
- “…there’s still a double standard out there.” A small view into my father’s feminine side. He observed from afar how women were treated and wanted to warn us on some level to be careful. I still have #1 stuck in my head because there is truth to it, but its not just parents who raise boys differently, society buys in to the whole males are still gods propaganda. I’ve worshiped at the altar too many times.
- “For a shot of V.O. and $20 I can have you killed.” This was my father’s warning to many of our dates. Short and to the point. It also scared many a suitor from returning to the Obst household. Eh, if you can’t stand the heat, you better get out of the kitchen.
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how women ruminate and comb over each word and nuisance of their dates in an attempt to figure out what THEY did wrong. It makes me wonder, if I had brothers would I still be doing this, would I blame myself for mishaps in romance? More than likely yes, because society teaches us that women are still worth less than men. What having sisters taught me was: ruminate all you want girl, you are still beautiful, intelligent and worth all the love in the world.
