My family has struggled with money all of my life; it was normal for me. I was used to smaller Christmases, rarely eating out, food pantries, free/reduced school lunches, and getting all of my school supplies from charities. It worked for my family and these services made me feel like I was not missing out. Don't get me wrong, my family was not poor, we just couldn't afford the luxuries that our friends and neighbors seemed to have an abundance of. However, the circumstances changed as I grew older. My first job marked the start of my independence; I started to pay for my own clothes, groceries, health expenses, and monthly phone bills. I had to work double shifts all summer to afford my first car, which also meant I had to pay for gas, car insurance, and car repairs. This was hard for me at first because all of my peers did not worry about any payments because they had their wealthy parents funding their every move.

After my parents got divorced and my father completely separated himself financially from my family (he emotionally left long before this), college seemed like an unrealistic dream for me. Fortunately, my good grades provided me with many scholarships and my mother's small income allowed me to receive the maximum federal grants and loans. I was ecstatic because I could actually afford college on my own. Of course, paying for school supplies, books, and dorm necessities quickly drained my bank account. Once my seasonal job ended and the paychecks stopped coming in, I was hit with two expensive car repairs which set me back. The first repair I was able to pay for immediately, but the next one was too costly and I had to go on a payment plan to pay for it. I thought I had finally gotten over all of my financial hurdles, but I was wrong. After paying for most of my textbooks for spring semester, I decided to check on my financial aid account and was horrified to discover I still owed over 200 dollars. I had not realized that one of my scholarships had gone entirely to my first semester and the refund I was given was meant to go towards my second semester. I was forced to go on a tuition payment plan where I could barely afford the monthly payments before I would start my seasonal job again. My mother graciously gave me more money than I know she could afford to help me out, but I was still close to going into the negative in my checking account. It wasn't until my first class that I learned I needed to buy more books that would cost me almost 200 dollars more. I was hysterical at this point and frantically applied to every job I could. Without a job, I would not be able to pay my bills in February. I was even so desperate that I sold some of my clothes so that I could buy gas for my car. Fortunately, I have an interview next week, but without it I do not know what I will do.

This stressful experience has made me realize that I cannot afford to go to school without a job, even if only for one month. I will have to work consistently or I will lose everything. I knew paying for college would be hard, but I didn't realize it would be so devastating. It is depressing to watch others not have to worry about paying for textbooks or tuition, but I know my hard work will pay off. My struggles have already prepared me for life outside this ridiculous college bubble and I know I will be able to handle what life throws at me later in life. My peers may graduate debt-free, but I know I will come out stronger because I had to work for my accomplishments.