As someone who grew up watching "Spongebob Squarepants," like everyone, I laughed hysterically whenever Patrick Star shared one of his idiotic insights, inquiries or revelations. As I reflect upon the good old days when all I did was flop on the couch and binge-watch "Spongebob" for hours after school, I decided to draft a list of my all-time favorite Patrick Star quotes. My challenge for you is to get through this list without so much as letting out a giggle. Enjoy this trip down memory lane back in the early 2000s!
1. "The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma."
Nobody ever knows what going on in Patrick's mind – hence the explanation he gives.
2. "Well maybe it is stupid, but it's also dumb!"
Patrick's response to when Squidward says the existence of sea-bears is the stupidest thing he has ever heard.
3. "Is mayonnaise an instrument?"
Squidward attempts to organize an orchestra, which consists of people who are unintelligible about instruments. Patrick is one of these ill-informed people, which is evident in the question he poses to Squidward.
4. "Hi Spongeboob! Haha Spongeboob? Who's Spongeboob?"
Patrick accidentally calls his friend "Spongeboob" and perceives it to be the funniest thing while Spongebob stands angrily.
5. "You know. I wumbo, you wumbo, he/she/we wumbo... Womboed! Womboing! Wumbology, the study of wumbo! It's first grade, SpongeBob!"
Patrick goes on a rant about Wumbo after he fixes Spongebob's belt so that it displays "W" instead of "M".
6. "HAHAHAHA, IT'S A GIRAFFE!"
Spongebob blows a bubble, which is in the shape of an elephant, but Patrick is limited in his knowledge of the natural world, and so laughs at the bubble for it appearing as a giraffe.
7. "You guys talk funny! Say more words!"
Patrick encounters two chimps with British accents, and he finds their way of presenting the English language to be quite amusing.
8. "I don't think this is the real Spongebob. Just look how yellow he is."
Patrick would make an excellent detective.
9. "What's the matter, is he stupid?"
Upon witnessing a baby clam that cannot fly yet (yes, in this TV show clams can fly), Patrick asks Spongebob if the clam is stupid for that.
10. "Can we say that hats from Texas are dumb?"
When Spongebob asks Patrick what he thinks he is (charades type of game), Patrick tells Spongebob that he is stupid, to which Spongebob replies that he is Texas. Then Patrick says, "What's the difference?" And they both laugh.
11. "East? I thought you said Weest!"
Patrick is directionally challenged.
12. "Liar liar, plants for hire."
Patrick tries to make a point, but in trying to sound serious, he sounds stupid.
13. "FINLAND!"
A freaky Spongebob-created creature named Doodle-Bob throws a bowling ball at Patrick, who then falls and hurts himself, and screams "FINLAND!" When Spongebob asks if Patrick is ok.
14. "Haha! Connect the dots! I drawed a horsey!"
Patrick cannot speak properly, nor draw.
15. "My parent's think I'm dumber than a sack of diapers."
I don't blame your parents, Patrick.
16. "Don't you have to go be stupid somewhere else?"
Sandy's way of telling Patrick to leave her alone.
17. "Ahh! It's the apocalypse! Office products are falling from the sky!"
In search of Spongebob's pet snail Gary, Spongebob gets a hold of office products to help him created search posters. When Spongebob dumps the materials on a napping Patrick, the starfish wakes up stunned, convinced that the apocalypse has arrived.
18. "This is a hotel?"
Patrick brings his packed suitcases to a hotel, even though he has no idea that he is in a hotel.
19. "Is he a mermaid?"
Spongebob and Patrick encounter an human deep sea diver, who Patrick thinks is a mermaid.
20. "It's called the Ugly Barnacle. Once there was an ugly barnacle. One day he was so ugly everyone died. The end."
In an effort to cheer up Spongebob who thinks he is ugly, Patrick delivers his friend a heartfelt story, or shall I say Patrick's version of heartfelt.
21. "I can't see my forehead."
We totally understand Patrick. We all wish that we could see our foreheads too.
22. ("Is this the Krusty Krab?") "NO THIS IS PATRICK!"
Patrick is assigned a job at the Krusty Krab to take phone calls. Whenever customers call and ask, "Is this the Krusty Krab?" Patrick gets mad and tells them, "NO, THIS IS PATRICK!".
23. "May I use the leak, ma'am?"
After Patrick yells Finland aloud and falls into the pit, Doodle-Bob throws a hammer on Patrick's head, causing him to say more ridiculous things, such as inquiring as to where the "leak" (bathroom) is.
24. "Happy Leif Erikson day Spongebob, Hingadingerdurgen!"
Patrick leaves Spongebob a note regarding Leif Ericsson day (strangely a holiday of relevance in Bikini Bottom).
