God tests me every day, but lately, it seems he is really testing my well-being & most importantly, my patience. Patience is a virtueis something I grew up learning about and trying to, perfect, I guess you could say. Patience is one of the seven heavenly virtues that oppose the seven deadly sins. The virtue’s meaning is as follows, “Forbearance and endurance through moderation. Enduring the seemingly unbearable with patience and dignity. Resolving conflicts and injustice peacefully, as opposed to resorting to violence. Accepting the grace to forgive; to show mercy to sinners. Creating a sense of peaceful stability and community rather than suffering, hostility, and antagonism.” Is this how you handle being patient? I sure don’t.

This past week has been extremely tough for me. I think I’ve cried every single day. I recently moved into my own apartment where I go to school. Which means that it’s my first time away from my mom and dad and my life back home. I wanted to write this article for myself as sort of a diary entry, you could say. This is just a way for me to get out my stress and anxiety with the hopes that maybe some of you will relate. Here are four instances from this past week where God has shown me that I need to have patience.

With my boyfriend: I love this man more than anybody on this earth; being away from him for the first time is seriously horrible. We have gone to school together until this coming year because he is transferring to continue his football career, which I’m so proud of him for, but I have to have patience with our relationship because we are both adjusting. We’ve argued a couple times this week, and it really took a toll on me. It’s not like I can just go over to his house to resolve an issue, it has to be done over the phone. I have to have patience and hold on to the fact that we love each other and that to reward my being patient, we will be together soon. I know that God has a plan for us.

With my mom: my mom is my best friend, but last weekend I never got out of bed for two days straight...and my dumb self posted a snap chat story of my cat and I where she can see it. I got a phone call saying that I need to get myself together and get the heck out of bed. I had to have patience because I knew that she was right. I have to have patience because I can only rely on myself now and I can’t rely on her to cook me food or do my laundry. I have to be a big girl.

With work: I’m a nanny this summer for two families that are awesome, but boy do those kids have a lot of energy, and very different personalities. I have to have patience and trust that God will help me formulate a plan every week for things to do and to accommodate everything that they want to do this summer. I also have to have patience with the weathe,r because on the days when we can go swimming there’s a thunderstorm. If that doesn’t piss you off, I don’t know what will.

With everyday life: it seems lately that nothing wants to go my way. I miss my mom and dad, I miss my boyfriend, I even think I miss my brother, but regardless I signed up for this life. I’ve never had to rely on God this much until now, but the hardest part is hearing him. I pray for God to give me a sign, to help me get through each and every day, but I’ve realized that his sign for me is to work on my patience. And I’m grateful for that.