Dear My Past Self,
Oh my goodness, so much has happened since I was younger and I did a lot of growing up. I am sorry if you are hurting so much to the point where you feel like there is nothing left to do anymore. I am so extremely sorry for all of the shit that so many people are putting you through in such a short amount of time. I wish I had the strength I do now, to face everything and get through it. You are just a kid and did not know any better. You just want to have fun, be free and have friends, but life can be so difficult sometimes.
The one thing that I can tell you is that you can not blame life for some of the bad things that occurred. This life is so beautiful and you will soon realize that. Do not get so down on yourself because in a few years, you will learn to embrace your flaws and finally be happy. I am not saying that you are never happy, but you struggle with trying to get others to like you. You try so hard to please others (you still do that at times) and because you were so caught up with doing that, you forgot how to love your own self. Do not pretend to be someone you are not and always focus on the things ahead.
I wish I could be the person I am today when I was younger, but I think growing up is the best thing to happen to someone. You have to get through the bad, in order to get to the good. I know what you are going through absolutely sucks and you feel so alone. You feel like you could not talk to anyone about it because you are scared of not being respected by others. In just a few short years, something happens that will change your life forever.
The people you will meet in the future will have an impact on your whole entire life. You think you do not know what you did without them before. They make you feel yourself again and they always got your back. I bet you can not wait to meet them, but trust me it will all be worth it. These particular people are just what you need to keep moving forward.
You will start to appreciate your family a lot more than you do and you realize that they are the most amazing people on the entire planet. They are the ones you make the best memories with and I can not wait for you to realize that.
Of course, there are certain conflicts that come into play in the future, but you learn to conquer. You will still be faced with inner struggles but it will get better over time, I promise. So if you are in your room, crying because you think you can not handle it anymore.....just remember that things will get better and your life will be a lot different than what you think now....trust me (after all, I am you from the future)
Conquer this world...you got this!!!
Love, Nina :)