I'm just too passionate. I love things and people too much and I let myself get emotionally invested to a point that most people would deem unhealthy. Do I consider it unhealthy? No, but I do consider it a weakness.
Ever since I fell in love with music I have poured my heart, soul and time into improving myself as a musician. While most of my friends hate sight reading in chorus, I find it interesting and challenging. I am not going to get every note and rhythm in every line perfect on my first try. That is exciting. I am going to push myself to learn music in every way I can. I consider it a great feature of mine that I have become so infatuated with music that I crave the challenge every second of the day.
However, having this problem while performing can drain me emotionally. I use my extra time on weekends and breaks to study my music. I find it fun and the most entertaining class to study. My director always says, "practice makes permanent." I cannot guarantee that if I study my music I will flawlessly execute it every single performance, but I will definitely have nailed my part in and given it 200 percent effort. Not everyone has the same severe drive that I do. That's okay, but it makes me feel dysfunctional. When working as an ensemble, you are like a sports team. No man is left behind, and you all have to work equally as hard to produce the result you all want. My mind tells me that everyone has to want things as much as I do, or it just won't work. That's wrong, but my passion hinders my judgment. It's a weakness, and I overwhelm myself sometimes because of it.
Commitment is not just participating in something. It’s about giving morethan 100 percent. You do it because you love it with everything that exists inside you, and nothing can extinguish the flame that burns deep within your heart and soul. My definition of commitment has allowed me to further myself and improve constantly. I’ve had to learn how to deal with others and accept their differences from me. It is okay to love something so much you cannot even describe it, but telling people that they don’t love the same thing because they express it differently is wrong. But reminding someone now and then that effort is important is healthy. It shows teamwork and passion within a group, and I love seeing that passion among people.