The anxiety has always sort of been there, lurking in the background and showing its ugly head every now and again. Every time it got worse we would talk it out and work through it until it went away, but what happens when it won't go away this time?
When someone you love struggles with mental illness it is hard to know what to do, or how to manage it. We often see celebrities and other people of interest in discussing their experiences with depression or anxiety, but rarely do we discuss the effects a mental illness can have on the people closest to you. Having dealt with the ugliness of this illness recently myself, I could have never imagined how truly debilitating and all-encompassing mental illness can be.
Watching a loved one struggle, and having absolutely no way to help them has been one of the hardest things I've experienced so far in life. As I have personally never experienced these things, it was hard to understand what they were feeling, and why they couldn't just (for lack of a better phrase) get over it. I am writing this to acknowledge all of the people whose partners are struggling with these illnesses because it takes a lot of patience and understanding to be what they need right now, which over everything else, is just there for them.
No matter how sad you are that you haven't been able to go out with them for a while, or that date night always ends in a panic attack, or that they don't seem to want anything when you go out to eat, whatever it may be, just remember that they do need you. You may get upset, or have dark moments where you wonder why you aren't enough, why you can't make them feel better, the bottom line is that this has nothing to do with you.
Most importantly, ask them what they're feeling. Communication on both sides is so important. Ask them what they need, ask them what will make them feel better. If they need to get out of the house, then go. If they need to stay in bed and sleep all day, let them. If they need you to leave them alone, don't take it personally. If they need all the love you can possibly give them, give it to them. Just communicate with them and work with them, find a balance that works for the both of you.
Encourage them to get help, and allow them to take as much time as they need to get there. Unless the matter is getting to a point where you are afraid of them hurting themselves, allowing them to take the time to feel okay with seeking professional help will hopefully make them actually want to work on their struggles. Mental illness is no joke. It is persistent, angry, and can easily ruin relationships if you let it. It may never go away, but there are things that can help.
As a side note, I would just like to add that it is in no way your job to fix someone. If you feel like you have done everything you possibly can and your relationship is too toxic, it is not your job to fix all their problems for them. Do whatever feels right to you, and take care of yourself as well.
