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The Superlative Award Each 'Parks And Rec' Secondary Character Deserves To Win

Someone needs to put these people in their place.

Megan Carmen

Mar 26, 2019

Bowling Green State University

207

The Superlative Award Each 'Parks And Rec' Secondary Character Deserves To Win

NBC Universal

The Absolute Worst: Marcia Langman

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This woman just can't get behind anything. If the world doesn't have centaur paintings and the Twilight books in the time capsule, what does the world have?

Most Annoying Pranks: Greg Pikitus

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Stupid little Pikitus and his stupid little peach pits!

Worst Best Friend: Lindsay Carlisle Shea

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Who in the world would actually want to be friends with Eagleton Princess, Lindsay Carlisle Shea? Nobody, that's who.

Most Confusing Spouse: Gayle Gergich

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How? Does anyone understand?

Worst Government Employee: Tammy 1

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Ladies, do not accuse your ex husbands of tax fraud, just don't.

Most Likely To Actually Be A Slug: Tammy 2

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Tammy the punk-ass book jockey could easily be a serpent in disguise. She's rotten to the core.

Stomach Of Steel: Tammy Swanson, The OG Tammy

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The way Ron's mom can chug that Swanson family rocket fuel is utterly astonishing and must have taken centuries of conditioning... that deserves an award.

Most Unfit To Host A Television Show: Joan Callamezzo

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Who let this crazy woman on the set? Oh, she's the host? my bad, my bad.

Best Television Host Of All Time: Perd Hapley

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"Ya Heard" it here first, folks!

Best Party Presence: Mona Lisa Saperstein

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There's no denying that Mona Lisa knows how to be the life of the party, but whether that's a gift or a curse is up for debate.

Most Likely To Get Run Over By A Lexus: Jean-Ralpheo Saperstein

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Everyone has to make their money somehow, right?

Most Likely To Run For Office: Joe Biden

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*Cough*

Kindest Heart: Lil' Sebastian

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Rest in peace, little prince. You truly were 5000 candles in the wind.

Best Grammar: Shauna Malwae-Tweep

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She's like the only journalist in the town, so I can only assume her grammar is superb.

Web MD's Go To Expert: Dr. Richard Nygard

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Dr. Richard Nygard is LITERALLY the best doctor around... and possibly one of the only doctors around.

Most Likely To Be Banned From Web MD: Jeremy Jamm

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Someone gave this man permission to be an orthodontist and honestly, I just want to talk. Don't even get me started on the whole councilman thing.

So there we have it, a perfect trophy given to all of the Pawnee People.

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The Superlative Award Each 'Parks And Rec' Secondary Character Deserves To Win

Someone needs to put these people in their place.

In This Article:

The Absolute Worst: Marcia Langman

Most Annoying Pranks: Greg Pikitus

Worst Best Friend: Lindsay Carlisle Shea

Most Confusing Spouse: Gayle Gergich

Worst Government Employee: Tammy 1

Most Likely To Actually Be A Slug: Tammy 2

Stomach Of Steel: Tammy Swanson, The OG Tammy

Most Unfit To Host A Television Show: Joan Callamezzo

Best Television Host Of All Time: Perd Hapley

Best Party Presence: Mona Lisa Saperstein

Most Likely To Get Run Over By A Lexus: Jean-Ralpheo Saperstein

Most Likely To Run For Office: Joe Biden

Kindest Heart: Lil' Sebastian

Best Grammar: Shauna Malwae-Tweep

Web MD's Go To Expert: Dr. Richard Nygard

Most Likely To Be Banned From Web MD: Jeremy Jamm

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Here are just a few of those things.

Take the time to thank that one friend in your life you will never let go of.

1. Thank you for being the one I can always count on to be honest.

2. Thank you for accepting me for who I am.

3. Thank you for teaching me what real love feels like.

4. Thank you for always making sure I'm safe.

5. Thank you for going through things with me.

6. Thank you for teaching me to take care of myself.

7. Thank you for going out of your way to make me feel supported.

8. Thank you for always being there to back me up, even when you know I'm wrong.

9. Thank you for constantly pushing me to live up to my potential.

10. Lastly, thank you for making such a huge impact on my life.

It sucks, but you’ll make it through

1. Please just be seasonal allergies

2. I must not have gotten enough sleep last night

3. I’ll just take a little nap

4. Oh no, I have so much due tomorrow!

5. I’m fine, I’ll just sleep it off

6. Do I have to be responsible today?

7. Ugh no, I can’t actually be sick

8. Alright, I’ll take some medicine and I’ll be fine

9. This is the worst day of my life

10. Mom?

11. She was right (like always)

12. Too bad you're busy and can’t take the day off tomorrow

13. You think about taking the day off, but realize you have like three tests

14. You think you're actually going to be sick forever

15. Finally, you're better!

Sleepovers are not a thing. They're just not.

1. You only ask things once.

2. Seriously, you only ask once.

3. When you do muster up the courage to ask your parents for something, you creep around and wait until they’re in a good mood.

4. Before you get that final yes, you have to go through an interview.

5. If you ever got “the eye,” you knew you were screwed.

6. You were always the first to leave your group of friends when hanging out.

7. If you say you will be home at a certain time, you better be home at that time.

8. Seeing a missed call from your parents sends fear and horror through your veins.

9. If relatives are coming over to the house, your room better be clean.

10. You are careful about what jokes you share with your parents.

11. "You’re not an adult until you turn 18! You can do whatever you want then!"

12. If plans change while you’re out, you better text or call.

13. Don’t talk back. Ever.

14. When you’re called by your full name, you’re in deep trouble.

15. Don’t make them call your name twice.

16. Sleepovers are not a thing.

17. Despite all of these things, you know your parents love you.

For better or for worse

1. Pets

2. Mornings

3. Mistakes

4. Cooking for yourself

5. Hosting

6. Taking care of yourself

7. Holidays

8. Roommates

9. Keeping focused and getting stuff done

10. Cleaning

11. Social life

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