I really hate the question, “Qhere are you from?” I no longer have a simple answer.

This summer I moved with my family from the small, familiar town of Manalapan, New Jersey, where I'd lived my entire life (except for going to college in Pennsylvania), to the suburbs of Portland, Oregon. Needless to say, this wasn't easy. I had lived my entire life in New Jersey. I had gone to the same doctors, restaurants, and stores forever. All my friends were there. Everything I knew was there. And yet, I had to leave it all behind. This has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.

You never think it will happen to you.

You never really think that your family will move when you never have before. You especially don’t think it will happen when you’re still in college. You never think you will be that person, and you don’t think you’ll care so much when you are. You never think it will be you until it is you.

You feel more out of place than anything else.

You never feel quite at home in your new house. It’s probably a nice home, but it’s not yours. You don’t really feel like you belong. Your parents will try to do stuff to make you feel better, but still, not the same. Maybe they’ll do for you what they did for me: buy a new bedroom furniture set with a new queen bed to replace the old twin and new dressers to replace the old ones. You probably won’t care about having those new things. I had never really cared that they were in poor condition or that I had a small bed; they were mine, and that’s what I was used to. I also had my own bathroom for the first time, but I had never minded sharing with my brother. This house was more modern and prettier than my old one, but I didn’t really care about that. I hadn’t asked for newer things. If it’s not broke, don’t fix it, right? You never cared if your house wasn’t perfect. It was yours, and that was good enough for you.

You feel isolated.

You have to start over new. You’re not in high school anymore. You aren’t walking past 2,000 other teenagers every day or seeing them in class, clubs, sports, etc. You’re not in college; you aren’t on a campus living five feet away from other people that are all eager to make friends. You don’t have your current friends. You don’t get to bring your friends with you. It’s just you and your parents (and your dogs). Oh, and the obscene amounts of Netflix you will watch. You probably won’t leave the house some days.

You struggle to make friends.

You have difficulty making new friends because there aren’t the same outlets to do so anymore. You try to make friends by trying to get involved in the same activities you did at home, but it’s much harder. People usually already have their friends or don’t want to make new friends. You’ll probably meet some nice people, but nobody you become instant best friends with. It’s not that easy anymore.

You feel left out.

You watch your high school friends all hang out without you. They tell you they miss you and wish you were there, but you have serious doubts. How can they still want to be my friend if I’m living on the other side of the country and we never get to see each other? You get frustrated over the time difference and the fact that none of them notice how hard you’re trying to make it work to FaceTime with them.

You become frustrated and jealous of your high school and college friends who didn’t move.

You resent them for not understanding what you’re going through and not being able to help you. You get angry when they ask you ignorant questions about the place you’re moving, even though they’re not trying to upset you. They just really don’t know anything. It’s frustrating that you have to deal with this, while they remain in bliss.

You feel angry with your parents.

How could they take away your safe place? The place that you feel most comfortable in, the place where you have so many memories. The place where you had your first steps, your first kiss, many tears, and all of your personal possessions. The place that you would go home to for much-needed breaks from college.

You do a complete emotional flip-flop.

You try to convince yourself how great it will be. You think about all the new experiences you will have and the people you will meet and how you were getting tired of your hometown anyway. You get excited about it for a little while.

You then flip-flop again.

You have all these doubts and concerns in your head. You try to act like everything is okay, but it’s not. You try to put on a happy face, but it’s very hard. You think about trying to find a summer job in another place so that you won’t have to be in the new house. That way, it wouldn’t even matter that they moved because you’d never be there. You consider trying to live at your best friend’s house from home. You always felt welcome at her house, but you don’t want to intrude on someone’s life like that. It’s not her fault that this happened.

You get weirded out at the fact that other people are living in your house.

What did they change about it? Did they paint your room a horrible color? What furniture did they put in it? Do they hate something about the house that you loved?

You'll throw yourself completely into something.

You'll want to distract yourself from the fact that you aren't at home and that you aren't all that happy. Maybe it will be Netflix or a video game like me at first. Maybe it will be the gym or a dance class, like me in the middle. Maybe it will be a boyfriend who'll you fall for so quickly and want to spend every waking moment with, like me for the rest of my summer. Whatever it is, you'll devote an extreme amount of time to it have some sense of normalcy.

You want to be okay with it all.

You don’t want to be bitter and ruin your parents’ fresh start and new home, even though it’s left you kind of without one. After all, it’s not really about you anymore. You only lived at home a few months of the year anyway. It doesn’t change your life like it would if you were still in high school. You realize that you are old and mature enough to put your family’s needs before yours. You realize the countless sacrifices your parents have made for you and decide to make one of your own for them. You accept the fact that it happened, even though you’re not totally happy about it. You realize that it made you have to step out of the bubble you’ve lived in your entire life, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. You realize that this made you grow up and while it’s scary, it’s a part of life. You try to live in the new house as best you can, just like you do with everything else.