I want to start off by saying that my parents are amazing. They’re awesome parents who love me and would do anything for me, no question about it— but I’ve always had this nagging feeling that they don’t particularly like the person I am (or was). They like me more now, but when I was in high school they definitely did not like me. Granted, I wouldn’t have liked me either.

Let’s start off with a little background information, I am female and a middle child with one older sister who is two years older than me and one younger sister who is two years younger than me. Now, having two sisters both so close in age opens the door for a lot of comparisons. Here are some of those comparisons…

My older sister is “the nice one." That’s what everyone says. She’s caring, sweet, kind and an all-around great person. I was a b*tch to put it simply. I was constantly making sly, rude comments to everyone and about everyone. Sure a ton of people thought they were funny, but just because people laughed didn’t mean that I should have continued to act that way. I think that was disappointing to my parents. All parents (I assume) want their kids to be kind to others and treat people the way they wanted to be treated, that wasn’t me, and I know that upset my parents.

My younger sister is “the hard-worker." She gets amazing grades, is a star athlete and puts 110 percent into everything she does. I was lazy. In high school I never did homework, barely went to class, and was mediocre in pretty much everything I did. All my parents wanted was for me to be passionate about something and to work hard and give a full effort, I never did that. I constantly disregarded any concern they had for my work ethic and continued down this path of self-destruction.

Knowing that my parents weren’t proud of the person I was becoming, made me realize that I should be better, not only for them but for myself. So, when I got to college, I worked harder and tried to be nicer, and it has improved my relationship with my parents. I no longer hear that tone of disappointment when I talk to them. I think they are finally starting to like their middle daughter, and that makes me happy.

So, this is a message to anyone who thinks their parents love them but don’t like them. Next time you think about how your parents must feel about you, take a step back and evaluate yourself. Would you be proud if your child was just like you? Because I sure as heck would have hated having a child like me. Your parents love you, that’s not going to change. They want to like you, odds are the only reason they don’t like you is because you’re not a likeable person. Now you just have to work on yourself in order to get them to like you. And trust me, it’s worth it.