I want to start off by saying that if you are a coach of any kind, you can relate to this. I and many people I know are coaches, and most of us have volunteered to give up our free time to help out with other people's child's team, or the opposing team they are playing. If you become filled with an emotion like guilt or embarrassment, well you're probably guilty of this and should try to change the way you approach youth sporting events.

To the parents of the pre-teen athlete, standing in the crowd, yelling at the top of their lungs at their child, I would like to remind you they are not a professional athlete, and there is a very good chance are you are not either. In my short coaching experience I have seen crazy things, from the umpire who is calling all strikes to end a baseball game early, to the parents of a 12-year-old screaming at and harassing not only the coach of the opposing team, but their own team as well. If you didn’t know any better, you would think that their whole lives rested in the hands of their child's team winning or losing. Anyone who has a child or who has been to a youth sporting event has heard it, the one or two, mostly women (sorry ladies) who are screaming at their child or coach to do better or make a change, or are even telling them what to do and how to win. "Excuse me ma'am would you like to coach this team? I've only been practicing them and coaching them for the entire season, but by all means, do inform the entire crowd on how you could do it better from your plastic patio chair you brought from home." I have even had an opposing team fan tell me to, "Go back home, you obviously don’t know anything about baseball," and "Get back in the dugout, coach. The team is better off without you."

I personally am fine with the comments and jabs the parents take at me, it fuels me to drive my kids to beat the other team. How did President Roosevelt put it? "Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far." I refuse to give these self proclaimed unknown "heroes" of the sporting world the time of day, but what I cannot stand is when they turn their foul, ignorant mouths toward the kids on either side. When I hear a parent verbally attacking kids, even if it is their own, I get defensive. The moment these kids step on the field they become my own, and I will fight for them and defend them with my life. I have seen firsthand a middle school child crying after striking out in baseball, not because of the strike out, but because his mom yelled at him the entire time he was batting. When he got into the dugout he said he didn’t care about the game anymore, he would rather not play if, "she's only going to come and embarrass me like that." How on earth could you as a parent not be able to tell that your own blood is trying their best? How on earth could you as a parent put that much pressure on your own child when they are struggling to begin with? It infuriates me to no end to see that happening. As much as you would like to think that you are doing the right thing by badgering your child when they are playing, you are doing more harm than good.

As a coach, one of the most important things I feel like I can do when coaching a middle school level or below sports team is keep them calm and remind them that it is in fact, only a game. At this juncture in a child's life they are really just beginning to figure out who they are and if they even want to play sports. It is meant to be a fun learning experience for the child, not a chance for the parents to come and measure DNA superiority based off their kids athletic ability. The last thing a child needs to hear when they get up to bat, pitch, shoot, kick, whatever, is something like "Don’t strike out again, Billy!" or "This kid can't throw it passed you, he's too slow," or "Come on! What are you thinking!?!" I have seen some really athletic kids walk away from sports all together because of parents being too hard on them, too controlling about the matter or too embarrassing, and that’s the worst thing that can happen. They already have enough to worry about right now with school, the attraction to the opposite sex kicking in, not making the team, what happens in high school, and who all is going to be at the sleep over this weekend. Why would you want to put any more pressure on them? Kids at the middle school level are just beginning to develop, and confidence and reassurance means everything to a confused, uncertain early teen.

This is a game. The participants are kids. Coaches are volunteers, umpires are human, and you are obviously not a professional athlete. Parents, leave the comments at home. If that’s your style of parenting, that’s your decision, but leave it at home or in the car. I can promise you that not everyone in attendance wants to hear you screaming at or about your son or daughter and why they are either the best, or how they should be playing better. Just be the person they need you to be and stand behind them, I can assure you that you will get a better response and attitude from them if your give them your support.