I would like to preface this by saying I appreciate all that my parents and parental figures have done for me over the years. After all, they've made me into the person I am today. I love them very much and I will always love them. I generally consider myself an open-minded and accepting individual, and I would like to credit my parental figures for guiding me towards these characteristics. I don't know for certain who my parents or parental figures voted for this past election cycle because that was each their private decision.

"Children begin by loving their parents; as they grow older they judge them; sometimes they forgive them." --Oscar Wilde

This is one of those quotes that floats around without much context. I certainly felt this way—living and going to school in Ireland for six months meant I saw this quote everywhere. Ireland is very proud of its literary greats, so this quote is plastered on the walls of numerous buildings. I'd notice it while staring out of the windows on the bus on the way back to Galway, or while walking around the streets of Dublin. I generally never gave it much thought, recognizing only that it was a nice sentiment before moving on.

This Wilde quote comes in a moment of reflection of James Vane, one of the minor characters in “The Picture of Dorian Gray”:

"He was conscious also of the shallowness and vanity of his mother's nature, and in that saw infinite peril for Sybil and Sybil's happiness. Children begin by loving their parents; as they grow older they judge them; sometimes they forgive them."

James Vane is a sixteen-year-old boy who is leaving his mother and sister behind to be a sailor. He is also incredibly self-aware, and concerned about the absence of his role in his family, yet he feels simultaneously detached. That time, encountering the quote in context, it seemed to put words what I've been feeling in regards to the current President of the United States.

When it comes down to it, Facebook posts are not votes, and what happens inside that booth stays inside that booth. And differences are not inherently bad. However, I feel very strongly about many of the things our President has been doing and saying, and, unfortunately, tweeting. Not caring is a privilege. Not worrying about how President Trump’s constant put-downs and discriminatory speech are affecting minorities is a privilege. The fact that I, as a cis-gender and heterosexual white woman, even have the option to say I don’t care about politics is privilege at work. It is difficult for me to understand how others can’t see that.

To not see this same attitude reflected in the people who have raised me has left me feeling a bit detached. I know I'm not isolated in this feeling; many of my peers feel similarly about their views contrasting with their parental figures' views. But these people raised me. They've influenced me since my birth. Their core values have shaped my core values. What does it mean when our core values no longer align? How can the people who raised me to be a loving individual consistently defend hate speech? Why do I feel like I have to choose between standing up for what I believe in and preserving the relationship I have with these people? Luckily, I'm confident they wouldn't disown me, or anything, but it still puts pressure on those relationships.

We want to believe that our parents are perfect people. We want to think they are always right. In that, though, we forget they are equally as human and as flawed as everyone else, including ourselves. We begin, of course, by loving them. As we grow, we judge them—anyone who's ever been a teenager can say this much is true. But even further, we learn about them as people and we learn the effects of their choices, and naturally, we judge them. It is up to us what we do with that information. Sometimes we choose not to sit through, "Why would Kaepernick kneel for the national anthem and lose $20 million in sponsors when he can just stand," or "Women have to be making up these sexual assault stories. How come all they’re all just are coming out now?"

And sometimes we forgive them.