Growing up, I was extremely fortunate to know all of my grandparents. I have been able to do fun things with them, learn from them, be spoiled by them; it is truly a blessing. Grandparents are the best because even though they can be stern and strict at times, they tend to be the more lenient than your own parents (and most times, they’re more fun). They have thousands of stories to tell, like when they were growing up, your parents as kids, the details about times they babysat you, etc. Although your grandparents are amazing, you tend to take them for granted. It’s depressing because as you grow older, you start to realize how lucky you are and how much they tried to be in your life. Sometimes, you don’t realize these things until it’s too late. The older you get, the older they get and as with everything in life and nothing lasts forever.
Losing a grandparent is not easy. You keep replaying memories in your head, wishing you could go back and be ‘more in the moment’ or give them a big hug and make sure they know how thankful you are. It’s a terrible feeling for most because it’s their first loss. As much pain, we are in and as many tears that pour out of our face, we tend to forget that our parent just lost their parent. We can be selfish and seek help from our parents to help relish the pain and hold us as we cry, not realizing how they are trying to stay strong for us. However, just like anyone else, they reach a breaking point and when they do, it’s heartbreaking.
It’s difficult watching the ones that are there for you when you’re upset to be incredibly distraught. When our superheroes the strong standing soldiers are upset, it’s a weird feeling at first. It’s a weird feeling because you see them for the first time bawl their eyes out, you see them scream in pain and frustration, asking God "why?" Your heart sinks to the bottom of the ocean, witnessing the ones of such strength become so weak. You comfort them as the way they have comforted you all of your life. While holding them as they cry and sob your arms, you become choked up yourself. For the first time in your life, the child switches roles with the parent.
You are now the strong standing soldier. You are the one wiping their tears away and trying to cheer them up. You become their comfort and listen to their sad stories. Their memories of the parent that they lost become extraordinarily vivid. They tell you stories that they never told you in your life about times they were in trouble and what their parents would do. They tell about how their hearts were broken for the first time, and what their parent would do to cheer them up, wishing their parent was there to cheer them up during this heartbreak. You actually feel their pain through the words trembling out of their mouth. All you want is for them to not feel the way that they do and knowing that you cannot simply turn a switch off is excruciating. The only thing you can truly do is to remain by their side and continue to reassure them how it’s going to be okay.
Standing by your parent’s side and helping them through the stages of grief when they lose a parent may be one of the hardest things you may do in your life. Although dark clouds cover the sun in this situation, it is a learning and life changing experience. You learn the importance of family and appreciate them more than you ever did, not taking a second for granted.I am very fortunate to have been able to have met all of my grandparents. It is a blessing that is often mistaken. I lost both of my grandpas within the past two years. My grandpas taught me many things when they were here, and they continue to teach me things even though they’re gone. They taught me how to comfort those who comfort me, and how to really love those who love me. They are truly the best guardian angels.
