This past semester I took a course that helped me understand why as a teenager you sort of do the things you do. And most of the time we do these things for no particular reason, other than because that is just kind of how we as people are wired. The biggest influencers are our temperament and our personality. Some people have stronger temperaments than others, and sometimes this can have a major impact on the way an adolescent behaves growing up. I am in no way shape or form trying to explain this in serious medical and psychological terms. Just trying to shed some light on parent and child conflicts and how they are more common than we may think.
Many people go through what we like to call a "rebel" phase. And while this doesn't happen for everyone, and definitely to varying degrees, it is generally extremely typical in the adolescent, teenage years. Think back to high school, how many times did you and your parents fight over the car, or your curfew, or hanging out with your friends all weekend every weekend. While again not for everyone, for the most part, these are very vivid and typical in our memories.
During this class, I was able to relate much of the content to my own life and if not directly in my life but maybe a sibling or friend's, life. This class Human Development and Family Studies, helped me understand that the stigma around parent and child relationships around this age is anything but odd. Teenagers are trying to find their own identity. We're trying to explore who we are and who we think we can and want to be. Now, this isn't always the easiest thing when you have a controlling parent figure trying to keep you safe. And in their efforts of trying to keep you safe and young forever your refusal of that protection is the outcome.
Many parents feel like they are the only ones in the world with a difficult teenager who is constantly pushing the boundaries of parenting, seeing how far they can go before they get grounded. While it has a lot to do with temperament and personality, as you can see in a multiple siblings home where each one is more different than the next, is that you are all born with your own unique temperament, it also has to do with friend influences, neighborhood influences, Socioeconomic backgrounds and environmental factors. This class helped open my eyes to see that where you chose for your children grow up has a major impact on the outcomes of their lives and futures. It not only helped me understand that many of my life decisions were [prpoddcuts of my environment and where I grew up, but it also helped me think towards the future and will always stick out in the back of my mind when I have my own children and making sure that their temperament is in line with their personality and also make sure that the influences all around them that I cant control are for the most part in line as well.
