1. Yes, you can have a "bigger water cup", but we both know it's not for water buddy.

It made me so mad when people would ask for a "bigger water cup", that is a soda cup and you gotta pay for that! But since the "customer is always right", you get it for free. But you aren't fooling anyone Brad. I see you. Look, I know you don't want to pay three dollars for a soda cup, Panera is already expensive enough. And true, you might be using it for water. But, why can't you use the free water cups we already have? Taking a few trips to the drink area is hard? Stop being lazy and just refill your small water cup, it'll just be easier in the end.

Just ask and pay for a soda cup! Listen, if you're nice, I'll give it to you. But when you try to scam the system, it makes you the fool, okay? Okay.

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2. Bus your own tables! I am not your maid.

You bus your own tables and plates. Is that a new concept to you? That is the system my dude! There are more than two large trash areas and even one on your way out. Is it really that hard for you to take your tray and throw away all of the food you didn't eat? It is completely understandable if the customer has trouble walking or carrying things. However, an abled-bodied person who has been to Panera more than twice and doesn't bus their own tables are trash and you cannot convince me otherwise. It is different when the employee tells you to leave your plates and trash on the table but you can see the self busing area, so don't come at me with the "Oh no one told me!". Uh huh. Sure.

Side note: If you have children that make an entire mess of the table, the seats, and the floors, can you have the common decency to let us know that we have a 30 minute mess to clean? Thanks!

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3. Please don't shove your empty drink at me, you can refill it yourself.

Okay, you may think I have some specially made green tea and lemonade in the back, but I can assure you, that is not the case. You know exactly where the green tea and lemonade is, I LITERALLY TOLD YOU WHEN YOU ASKED AT THE END OF YOUR ORDER. And just an FYI for those who haven't worked at Panera, I am not quoting one example. This used to happen almost every single time someone wanted green tea and lemonade. My Panera peeps will understand this.

Also, do not ask me how the green tea and lemonade is prepared. You think you want the answer, but ask yourself, do you really? If that is your favorite drink, do yourself a favor and don't ask, your heart just might break.

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4. Yes! You can get extra bread, but if you ask for 5, I will throw the baguette pieces at you.

Obviously I am kidding. Or am I? The world may never know.

But who would ask the cashier for 5 extra pieces of bread when they can just buy an entire baguette for only a $1.50? Hm....that's a hard one to answer. I would have to say, almost every customer ever! But really though, it's cool you like bread that much but you can literally buy a whole french baguette for a very small amount. Also, an extra bag of chips cost money. Do not yell at your cashier because you didn't know that a second bag of chips is 89 cents.

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5. We are required to ask you questions, even if you don't want what we ask.

C'mon Karen, I know you are super busy and you just like, have to go now, but when my screen prompts me to ask you questions, I WILL ASK THEM. What if you wanted something and I didn't ask, are you going to argue with me? Demand a refund or free item? Or ridicule me into apologizing? Yeah, no. So, do not get mad at me for doing my job, aight?

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6. Please, please stop asking me for recommendations.

You know, I get it. I work there, I should know the products and food items. But guess what? A fun little fact is when you work in food service and see the how the food is genuinely prepared, you generally don't want to eat many of the items. So, when you ask me what I like and ask me what you should get, I am always going to ask you what are your preferences.

I don't know what you like!! I don't want someone to shoot me down immediately, "Oh I'm allergic, I don't want that." and give me a disgusted look. BRO! You asked! I gave an answer! Take it or leave it, and get out of my line. Thank you.

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7. A You-Pick-Two IS NOT A MC-PICK-TWO!

Your meal will not be five dollars, this is not McDonald's, and if you think I am going to let you slide with saying, "Can I get a Mc-Pick-Two?", you are sorely mistaken my friend. This is Panera Bread and not your neighborhood drive-thru. I am not amused when you sing the little jingle too, I hear it more than five times a day.

Tell me what you want and don't dilly dally with trying to make me laugh, it won't work. There are four people behind you getting impatient and ready to take their anger out on me, so move along with that bull.

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8. I don't care if a different Panera let you get away with free food. I'm not them.

If you come to me and say that a different Panera let you get all three sides without paying when you order your food, I will tell you okay and the two extra sides cost two dollars. Listen buddy, I am not your friend here. I am not family, I won't "help" you out. It insults me when you insinuate that I am bad person for not giving you free items when you are rude to me.

Sorry not sorry, it's called human decency babe. Take note of it and pay two dollars extra on your tab. If you are nice to me and we have a good rapport, maybe then. But if you insult me and threaten me, well then. Looks like you're only getting one side from me.

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9. Do you really want to know how the food is brought to the store and made? Do you?

Ask yourself this a few times and then ask how much you like Panera. I will tell you, if you truly want to know I will inform you. There is no reason to be mad with me, my dude. I literally just work here. I don't rub my hands together evilly and say to myself, "We shall overcharge, yes yes, we shall ship everything frozen, and they will never know aha ahahaha AHAHAHAHAHAAHHA!!" If I were in charge of prices and how the food comes to the store, do you honestly think I would be working as a cashier?

It's called common sense, sweetie. So, when you ask on the low low how our food is made and how it is shipped to us, make sure to ask yourself if you really wanna know that information. You are absolute trash if you get made at me, you wanted to know, and I told you, mmkay?

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10. I just clocked in and you see me cleaning and you're really going to tell me the dining area is dirty? Okay. Got it. Thank you for letting me know :)

You are soo helpful if you tell me how dirty the dining area is when you saw me just clock in! Really, I appreciate that perceptive comment! It is amazing that we have eyes and can see that I am not the same person who was working the day shift. I will say this once and once only, I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER HOW THE PERSON BEFORE ME WAS DOING THEIR JOB. Okay? Can you understand that please? I can SEE how much my coworker did not do their job. I am trying to catch up and your comment? Not needed.

Now, if you see me sitting down and on my phone with the vacuum in my other hand, then you can say something. But that will never happen, so you see, you don't have to make that comment. Got it? Got it.

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11. Do NOT touch me. My Panera Warmth only goes so far.

I just want to ask, why would you put your hands on me when you don't know me? Just why? We are strangers! Do you even realize what you're doing? Because if you grab me consciously, I will not take it kindly. I am behind the counter for a damn reason. There is a barrier and a line that you just crossed. And I know you did it on purpose because there is very little I can do to respond.

For those that don't know, there is something called Panera Warmth, where we make sure that the customer feels like Panera is a home away from home. We greet as soon as you walk in, we grab food for you, clean up after you, serve you drinks. You have an awesome time right! Well, I am not because you grabbed my hand and squeezed it hard when I offered your buzzer to you. That was not an invitation to touch me, do not grab me.

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There are so many more things I wish I could say but this would be a very long article and we all do not have time for that. I hope you enjoyed this former Panera employees rant! Also, my fellow Panera peeps, stay strong and you got this.