"I learned this technique from Jesus actually. I used to walk around with my fists clinched, defensive, afraid people were going to take advantage of me. There are also many evils in the world that caused me to clinch my fists. I wanted to be angry and swing at the horrible things people do to one another, especially the things done to kids. But it was Jesus who taught me there was nothing I could really lose if I had Him. He taught me to be palms up, just like He was. Palms up means you have nothing to hide and nothing to gain or lose. Palms up means you are strong enough to be vulnerable, even with your enemies. Even when you have been tremendously wronged. Jesus was palms up, to the end." — Bob Goff and Donald Miller in "Love Does: Discover a Secretly Incredible Life in an Ordinary World"

I've been thinking a lot lately about this word "grace." I used to write it on my wrist in high school as a reminder to be palms up, to forget the wrongs in the world and lead a life totally independent of daily dilemmas. I have since forgotten to write this word down as a daily reminder, but I have been thinking more and more about it. It's very easy to not be gracious when you've been wronged. It is easy to yell and scream and think that the world is out to get you and make sure that everyone around you knows just the kind of tragedy you are going through. It is easy to be petty and passive aggressive and negative. All of that is easy when you are hurting.

So grace? What is grace even about? And as I was thinking about this, one word that people so typically glance over (that I so typically glance over) I started to think about grace in terms of life.

What kind of person do I want to be? What kind of legacy do I want to leave?

I want my life to be a consistent and beautiful overflow of hope and grace and happiness. I want to be someone who's filled to the very brim with grace, who is loving when it is easy not to love and be forgiving when it is easy not to be forgiving. I want to be patient when I am given every reason to be impatient and hopeful when the sun refuses to shine. I want to love with open arms and be joyful in all situations, waking up each and every day thankful for the life that I have. No matter the life I have. No matter the life I had. I want to have nothing to hide and nothing to gain or lose. I want to have the kind of inner strength to be able to be vulnerable, especially with my enemies. Especially when I have been wronged. Especially when I am hurting.

I want to have God make me so unlike this world that people notice, that they see a happiness beyond this place.

I think that that is what grace is. It's allowing to be beyond your circumstances, beyond your pain or your hurting and simply choosing to turn all of your unfair circumstances into immense love for humanity. Grace is knowing that it isn't fair, but being okay with what you are given regardless. Grace is loving your enemies and not just being the bigger person but having the bigger heart. Grace is following every footstep behind the footsteps of God. Grace is being palms up, to the end.