Padding Isn't So Much A Must When You've Got A Small Bust | The Odyssey Online
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Padding Isn't So Much A Must When You've Got A Small Bust

A relatable tale for women whose bra cups double as movie theatre snack pockets.

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Padding Isn't So Much A Must When You've Got A Small Bust
Pexels

Whoever said that five-feet-tall gals (give or take) — whose waistlines are practically the width of their thighs, and busts do not quite extend as far out as their behinds — shouldn't wear over-the-knee boots is a liar.

Our waists may not curve more acutely than 180 degrees, but if you catch us at the right angle, you'll see how full-figured our fashion sense has developed to be.

If reading this article's subheading felt as fitting as your favorite padded sports bra, "fake it 'til you make it" is a phrase you know all too well. I say this because there are these funny undergarment thingies that we wear.

The only thing training bras prepared me for were itchy skin dents and debuting my signature dance move.

You think I'm shimmying like I'm one of Beyonce's backup dancers, but I'm proving that girls really do run the world. In 2009, a boy band called Flobots sang about riding bikes with no handlebars, but I exhibited the art of sliding my fallen bra straps back up, over my shoulders with no fingertips.

Shopping for any article of clothing can be both a nightmare and hilarious for petite, box-acious women like me because I cannot try on anything without comparing it to things that aren't actually meant to be worn...

Seldom do I feel satisfied wearing a maxi dress because what is meant to look like a waterfall sweeping down my legs — that only go for half days — is basically a rag that you keep losing your car keys underneath.

To make matters worse, and I guess comic too, le babushkas only provide enough lift-age to shorten the skirt hem about half an inch.

There is a reason why a song called "Clothes Make the Girl" exists, and not "Curves Make the Woman."

Good news is, there is no way the buns I lack thereof ever made me feel less of a woman. Plus, it's okay if you laughed a lil' while reading this petite gal's tale.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
sex and the city
Warner Bros. Television

1. You don't have to feel guilty about flirting with customers for tips (or just for shits and giggles).

2. You can be obnoxiously flirtatious with anyone you want. You are free to be that girl that flirts with everybody and makes 'em all smile (it's especially fun when the guy is as cute as Collin Jost). No shame.

3. Making random men nervous with your superior beauty and intense eye contact just for the hell of it is really amusing and empowering.

4. No one gives two poops if ya legs are hairy (your man shouldn't either but *Kermit the Frog meme* That's none of my business)

5. The toilet seat will remain down.

6. There's more money to spend on yourself.

7. There's always this secret butterfly in your tummy that marvels at the possibility that when you go out this weekend you're gonna meet someone super handsome/wonderful/prince-like and have this moment of dazzling dalliance.

8. Nothing is that serious...you can take it all with a grain of salt...you don't owe anybody anything.

9. You can dance with anyone and everyone...or no one (Hello frat boi w/ glasses, I see you).

10. You don't have to fluff anyone's ego but your own.

11. Free drinks and dinners from single guys (It's not taking advantage if they're offering; a girl's gotta eat).

12. You have more time to learn how to love and improve yourself rather than constantly pouring your energy into another person.

13. You don't have to sacrifice your cheesy Jen Aniston rom-coms and Gilmore Girls for his Fast and Furious/other dumb action movie featuring blonde that is only in the movie to supply a relationship to the male lead and to make him look more masculine/empowered in juxtaposition (In other words, you don't have to deal with a guy being a crabby Patty while you watch your cute movies).

14. You can daydream about what your future husband may be doing right now (and not get stressed/guilty out because you're not picturing your current boyfriend that's crazy about you as your future husband).

15. There is more time to be spent with your girlfriends.

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