Moving into your first college apartment can be hectic, nerve-racking, and downright stressful! There's things to pack, papers to sign, furniture to be bought, and on top of that, you've gotta continue with your internship or summer job. However, I'm here to help! Over the past few weeks, I've become an expert on how to get ready for your first big move. Here are some tips and tricks for how to make the migration a little easier and maintain your sanity while doing it!

1. Take stock and assume the worst!

I mean, you own things, but do you own the *right* things? Probably not! Your dorm towels are crap, your bed is tiny, and your decor style is all wrong. You hear me? All. Wrong. Not only that, but you probably don't own the right color spatula, so you'll need to buy a new one of those. And heck, maybe you need more than one color spatula. You know, just in case. To be on the safe side, assume you have nothing that will work in your new apartment, and vow to buy everything new...and still somehow at a massive discount to fit your microscopic college budget.

2. Make sure you have all the basics!

The best place I've found for all my apartment furniture needs is, of course, Ikea. While you're there stocking up on a kitchen table, futon, TV stand, and a new bed frame, why not stock up on some of the other things you're sure to need? The Lack side table is so cheap and versatile, you may as well get four or five. Don't forget to go through the entire showroom and marketplace before you leave - you wouldn't want to miss anything! I had to make another trip since I forgot a dresser, but I'm so glad I did or I wouldn't have the 27 extra throw pillows or fluffy sheepskin blanket I know I'm going to need.

3. Budget well!

Don't worry about being a little short on cash - it's expected. Since all those throw pillows and side tables are totally necessary, the only logical action is to plan ahead and carefully think through how to best approach your parents when asking for your small loan of a million dollars.

4. Set aside storage areas in your current space

Once you've got all your furniture, pillows included, make room in your house to store it all until the big move. Popular areas to stash your stuff where you'll remember include the middle of your room, the shower, or your living room. High traffic areas are, of course, best, since you can use it as an opportunity to show off all the things you just bought with your now-maxed credit card.

5. Give yourself enough time to pack the rest of your stuff

And since you really don't have that much stuff, you can afford to wait until the last possible minute to pack. Don't worry if you haven't cleaned or done laundry yet, those things tend to work themselves out. Usually, I try to give myself at least 8 hours to get everything done, but no more than 9. There's so many other things you could and should be doing instead of packing, so why bother taking extra time? Take it from me, who definitely 100% knows what's up - I've moved into a dorm a few times, and an apartment can't be *that* much different, right? Totally. Everything is...fine. Fiiine...

6. Regret everything

Oh boy, packing sure does take a long time, doesn't it? Well, best to fret now so you won't fret later! Go ahead and make a gallon of coffee and get to it! Purrseverence is the best strategy for this one, and from your college lit class you took last semester you know that the hero's journey includes a pit of despair like 99% of the time, right? It may feel like you're bound to hell like Sisyphus and you'll be packing your crap forever, but there's a light at the end of the tunnel. You will come out of this experience having achieved a greater state of being...being packed and ready to go, that is!

7. Don't forget your First Night Box!

Since you're definitely not going to have everything unpacked your first night, make sure to pack a box with things you'll need either right then or the next morning, for easy access. Mine has necessities like floss, a swimsuit, the extended edition of the Lord of the Rings trilogy on DVD, and some pajamas, but feel free to include anything you want!

8. Call your landlord ahead of time

Make sure to phone up your landlord to let them know what time you'll be swinging by to pick up the keys and start settling in. Don't worry about their schedule, they'll just be happy to have another college tenant, and won't mind coming into work a few hours early for you. Remember not to mention how many friends you'll have coming to help you move - they like the surprise!

9. Gather your friends

Make sure to mention to *all* your friends you're moving, and when they ask offhandedly if you need help, jump at the chance! The more, the merrier, right? Definitely. And the more people inside your tiny apartment putting together Ikea furniture using only a few small screwdrivers you found in your dad's toolbox, the quicker moving will go, too - it's just science.

10. Make sure everything fits in your car

You always were really good at Tetris as a kid. Put those skills to use in making sure everything fits inside your tiny 2-door sedan, and trying not to freak out when it doesn't. You don't live that far away, and you can...make a few trips. Or you could rent a truck...or use your friend's truck...provided you make a friend that has a truck between now and your moving day. What did that ad for a U-Haul say again??

11. Spend your last precious moments in your childhood home relaxing and enjoying the company of your family...

And once you've gotten *that* out of the way, retire to your box-filled room, laptop in hand, ready to lull yourself to sleep with one last scroll through the "apartment tips/apartment decor/first apartment cute/cute apartment college/cheap budget apartment decor fast simple hard to screw up" section of Pinterest. There's gotta be a few good tips worth attempting mid-move, right? Totally. Take it from me - my Pinterest boards are FULL and I haven't even moved yet!

Note: This is a work of parody, although I am about to move into my first college apartment soon. My inspiration comes from the hilarious results I've found scouring the internet for real help and advice on how to get my college crap from the room I grew up in, to a 700-square foot slightly-off-campus patch of freedom. To all my fellow soon-to-be renters - good luck, and happy packing! The cat gifs are for you.