I've always loved myself.
Sure I've had bad acne, jacked up teeth, a botched side cut I gave to myself, and flare-ups that caused me to lose too much weight and look like a skeleton. I've acknowledged those things but never loved myself less because of it. I've never really understood why there is such an enormous amount of insecurity among young women my age. (Let me take a moment here to acknowledge that I am a privileged in the United States when it comes to beauty standards, being naturally blonde, caucasian, blue-eyed and thin.
As a kid, I could walk down the toy aisle and 90% of the Barbies would look like me. But with that being said, I know a ton of blonde haired blue eyed skinny white girls that are incredibly insecure, so there must be something else at play here.)
And I think I can owe that to my parents. Since the day I was born my parents have flooded me with compliments. "You're beautiful." "How did two people like me and your dad manage to have a daughter that looks like you?" "Shannon, you would look pretty wearing a garbage bag."
When I jokingly talk about my "awkward phase" they say things like "Shannon, you NEVER had an awkward phase. You were always stunning." Despite me most definitely having an awkward phase.
They've never been critical of the way I dress or how I do my hair. (The worst response was probably after I gave myself a sidecut, and even then I would describe their reaction only as "mildly shook.")
It was drilled into me as a child that I was essentially a goddess. And even though I know I'm not and my hair gets messy sometimes and I squint a lot when I laugh and my acne likes to rear its ugly head from time to time and I'm by no means a supermodel at all, I really don't care. I've almost never dealt with insecurities about my appearance and I think this is all due to my parents again and again and again telling me I'm beautiful during my childhood.
Even now that I'm away at college the compliments keep flooding in. Whenever my sorority has a date party or formal my mom asks for pictures of me in my dress and when I send them the response is always "You're beautiful!"
And some of you might be saying "Beauty doesn't matter! It's what's on the inside that counts!" And that's true, but in society today, particularly as women, we're bombarded with strict beauty standards and a need to be beautiful. Makeup, tanning salons, Spanx, pricey skin treatments, hair removal, etc. It can be overwhelming and really chip away at one's self-esteem which affects them in other areas of life. The way my parents built up my self-confidence in my youth allows me now as a young adult to not worry about beauty standards or feel insecure about my face or my body and instead focus on the things in life that really matter.
Mom and Dad, if you guys are reading this, thank you!
If any other parents/soon-to-be parents are reading this, remember to tell your sons and daughters that they're beautiful and handsome and amazing and perfect again and again and again, you have no idea the lasting effect it will have on them throughout their lives.
