It’s weeks like these that I wish I could go back in time to tell high school me how difficult college is. I mean, I knew… but like… I didn’t really know. It’s one of those things where it looks fun and awesome and challenging and you’re totally prepared and 100 percent goal-driven — until you’re in it and then the magic goes away. I love school, don’t get me wrong! I am absolutely grateful and blessed beyond belief to be getting an education and to have all of these amazing opportunities spread out before me, I just wish it wasn’t so damn difficult. Then again, if it was easy, then it wouldn’t be special, so… yeah.

First things first, my major would be a double major at legitimately every other school in the nation, but here, I do double the work for one degree. Why? Because I love it. It’s what I’m passionate about, and this school is where I feel I belong. I could have easily gone somewhere else and worked towards a double major, but I didn’t because this school fits me like a glove. Am I overworked? Hell yeah! Do I still love every grueling minute? I mean… more like one grueling minute out of every 10, but still… that’s a lot of love and a lot of minutes! Long story short: I feel like I am slowly being run into the ground, but I’m doing what I love while it happens!

O.V.E.R.S.T.R.E.S.S.E.D. I feel like this may go along with overworked, but I’d say it’s more of a result. Example: I am overworked this week because I have two ten page research papers due within two days of each other, therefore, the stress level is through the roof! Stress is a thing that I’ve always dealt with, but college stress is a whole new level. Like geez, sometimes I’ll have nightmares about homework I forgot to do, wake myself up in the middle of the night to do it, and get the same answers I did in my dream. I literally can’t even escape from it in my sleep! Luckily, an hour or two of Webkinz, Netflix, and a mini spa night usually does the trick until my next big assignment comes up.

I remember during the application season when each school I applied to would send me 4 emails, 3 letters, and a poster every week just to get my attention. Seriously, they are hunting! Who knows, they’ve probably considered adopting each accepted student a real live version of the school’s mascot just to stay ahead of the competition!

The other day I got an email that said “Dear BENTON, your opinions on this campus are important to us!” Cool… I, BENTON, am very pleased to hear that. It’s finally hit me that I am just one student out of many on this campus and that there are no favorites and no special treatments. As much as this feeling of being overshadowed absolutely sucks, it makes sense. You can’t come into college thinking that everything will fall into place and that you’ll be everyone’s favorite person, it just doesn’t work like that. If you want a name for yourself on campus, you have to put yourself out there, get involved, and work for it! And that’s what I’m out to do.

As much as I feel overworked, overstressed, and overshadowed this semester, I’m still working at it because it’s what I’m driven to do. While the obstacles may be tough and the challenges more difficult each time, nothing is better than knowing you can get past it all by working hard and getting sh*t done.