I know that I overthink; I have known that about myself my entire life. I assume that because you don't call me that you're no longer interested, I assume that the extra period in your text message to me, it automatically means you're upset with me. I have been know to convince myself of so many different outcomes, I can make myself sick. It's not healthy, it never was. I have done this to myself for years and it kills me that it has gotten this bad. Adulthood has made my life a mess; my overthinking runs wild. I don't know how to cope with life anymore.
This is a reality for so many people around the world, not just girls. I want to be the first to tell you that overthinking is something you can get over. Yes, it will take more time than you can imagine but with the right person by your side; you can do anything. I have a supportive boyfriend who has known me since I was young, dumb and 15 years old. He has seen me at my absolute best and he's seen me hit rock bottom. He's my rock, I wouldn't be able to function without him in my life. He has made me realize that I have nothing to worry about in life with him. I overthink everything from his texts, the way he hugs me, what he thinks about when he's looking at me, if we're on the same page or not--it's endless really. I sometimes have to step back and take a few minutes to think about what I'm doing to myself. Am I loving him to the best of my ability to love another human? Yes.
Being an overthinker doesn't mean you can't love; it simply means you love with every inch of your heart, mind and soul. I have never been able to love another the way I do him, and I think that is why I overthink everything with him. I have this feeling that If I love too much and show it, they'll run. If I show my true feelings too soon, it's over. Overthinking is a nightmare to live with, and an even bigger nightmare to love with. It's scary, it's hard and I don't think it'll go away. It's a part of me; no matter what it'll be a part of me that I just can't shake.
Yep, I suppose that even with the right man--that won't happen. I have been able to confess all of my feelings towards him and everything in between from my marriage views and wanting to have children. Yes, I still overthink when he doesn't call or text, but I know that at the end of the day my love for him will over power any overthinking I have going on in my head. Loving someone means loving every part of them. All of their flaws, gains, losses and every other thing that comes into their lives. I will learn to face my overthinking and I won't let it get in the way of loving him.
