As I was leaving the library in the dead of night (because, you know, finals week), I saw my friend passing me. I smiled, but they didn't smile back: they just kept walking.

But in reality, it wasn't my friend at all! It was someone who kind of looked like my friend I had in mind. But that didn't stop me from over-thinking and critically analyzing the situation: "Was that my friend? Why didn't they smile back? Do they hate me? Did I do something wrong? Maybe my entire friend group doesn't like me because of something I said or did? They probably don't want to hang out with me ever again. And why would anyone? I'm undeserving of friendship..."

The stream-of-conscious train of thought featured above is a daily plague and occurrence for me. I am constantly over-thinking and critically picking apart every social situation and interaction I have, and not in any way that is beneficial.

This isn't just additional worrying or simple stress to manage: my over-thinking and restless uncertainty of where I stand with people has led to me hurting my friends, to distrust, to obnoxious pestering, and an incessant need for reassurance. Often times I leave my friends mentally exhausted from having to constantly process and talk with me about the manufactured emotions and anxieties my over-thinking has brought on myself.

Any regular person would ask where there is hope for this daily mental struggle I live in. To that, I ultimately surrender and point to Jesus.

Because I have chosen to declare this Middle Eastern, Jewish rabbi named Jesus of Nazareth the King I answer to, it is my conviction then that His Spirit is within me. And that sounds weird, like how can someone's personal presence be in me and guiding me? But really, having God's Spirit in you is like when you hang out and get to know your parents a lot, and then when you grow up and move out of the house, you still feel guided by them. You find yourself pausing and thinking "OK, well, if my parents were here, they would do X, Y, and Z to get out of this situation?"

God's Spirit (His personal presence) guides and convicts and transforms me just as it did with Jesus. And that is where the poison of over-thinking loses its power and hold on me (and all of us who struggle with it). From Scripture, we know that when we continually "walk" with the Spirit, that it continually brings forth the fruit and character of Jesus (which are striving to replicate).

We know that "the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,gentleness and self-control" (Galatians 5:22-23 NIV).

These qualities are the opposite of over-thinking and are exactly the type of human that Jesus wants to create within us when we begin to trust in Him and allow the Spirit to guide us. This isn't easy, however: it takes daily engagement with God through prayer and reading Scripture to learn and seek to understand what exactly His Spirit asks of us and how It wants to guide us. It also takes being open and vulnerable to mentor figures and those who are knowledgeable in the Lord, as the Spirit speaks through others in the same way!

Ultimately, over-thinking is due to me not seeking to live and think how Jesus did. Assuming the worst of others and negative self-talk is far from joy, peace, gentleness, and especially self-control. In being rooted in Christ and allowing the Spirit to guide and transform these areas, it is my hope that my friendships would be ones of blessing: where I build others up and continually serve and elevate others above my fleeting worries, where outdoing one another in love and respect becomes the Godly foundation of my thoughts and view of others!