Trust me, I’ve been there. I’ve spent my days lounging around in bed, binge-watching Netflix and thinking to myself, “Why haven’t I done anything with my life?” The truth is, there was only one person to blame for the daily sulk-fest I always participated in. Did you guess me? If you did, you win the prize. However, I discovered a beautiful secret that yanked me directly out of the existential crisis that bothered me daily. Here is the trick: I stopped feeling sorry for myself. Nobody was causing my problems except for me.

I was constantly haunted by the thought that I wasn’t accomplishing enough. I truly thought that by the age of 20, I was supposed to have succeeded in all of the goals I had set for myself. I wanted to be a filmmaker. I wanted to be a musician. I wanted to create a blog. Instead of doing these things, I wallowed in a pool of self-pity. My dumb brain had me convinced that these things were never going to happen. How did I know they were never going to happen? I didn’t. You know why? I had never even tried.

My excuse was that since I was never going to succeed, there was no point in trying. Looking back on this, I can now fully understand that my rationale made absolutely no sense. However, it seemed like the only answer during the time. Sometimes your worst enemy isn’t someone else; it can be your own mind. I wouldn’t be telling you this if this mindset only caused me a little bit of a problem. No, my friends. My self-pitying mindset put me through months of intolerable anxiety that made me a nightmare to be around.

If you can relate to how I was feeling, I want you to reflect on the cause of your doubt. Is it something you can control? If you answered yes, then you are in a good position (I promise). If you are able to control the things that are causing you sorrow, then you are capable to pull yourself out of whatever funk is bringing you down. I now fill my spare time with activities that will help me reach the goals that I thought were unattainable. Instead of pitying myself, I now feel hopeful for the future. Whenever you begin to doubt yourself, I want you to look in the mirror and realize that you are capable. Do not succumb to whatever nonsense your brain might be telling you. Think about what you want to accomplish and slowly begin working towards your goals. Even if you are swamped with school and work, try to squeeze in time for your passions. Finding your purpose is about discovering what makes you happy and working towards it. I replaced my regular nap time with getting stuff done time. I now fill each moment that I’m not studying or working with things that will help me be the successful person I want to be.

Take ahold of your future and do not give up.