I recently stumbled upon an article about "over-parenting" that really caught my attention and found it held within it a lot of truth to the world we live in today.
Personally, growing up I was a very active child and loved playing sports; however, I never felt pressure from my parents that I HAD to play at a Division I college or that I had to do this and had to do that. My parents allowed me to be my own person but also pushed me to be more than a couch potato that never does anything productive. Something I have seen personally that has been growing over the years as I have been in college and have seen younger girls that are playing sports, is the fact that the parents set all of the standards for their children — and sometimes they aren't possible.
Don't get me wrong, pushing your child and motivating them is a great thing. Naturally as humans, we all need a little bit of motivation here and there. However I do believe that there is a fine line between motivating and suffocating.
Jeanie Lerche Davis wrote in her article Parents: Pushing Teens Too Hard?, "I really think it's a major contributing factor in drug use, early sex, binge drinking — kids feel pressured, they feel tremendous stress".
None of us are oblivious to the fact that the world we live in is rapidly changing and the workforce is becoming more and more competitive each day. That adds pressure to anyone but it shouldn't add so much pressure that the child loses any and possibly all of the interest and passion they once had.
Nadine Kaslow, PhD, professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Emory University, reaped the benefits of being pushed as a child. Kaslow did, however, state in her interview with Davis that "many kids are not suited to being pushed, and too many parents ignore the cues their kids are sending.""The results are starting to show up in college campus mental health centers."
In situations such as these, finding middle ground is crucial. I think a lot of the pressure that parents feel when it comes to wanting their child to be successful comes from the fact that they want to be viewed as successful parents, because no one in life wants to be viewed as a "failure." Personally, I believe if a child is not interested in something, why continue making them do something that makes them miserable?
I am by no means telling anyone how to parent their children. This is just a topic that I feel is very big in society today and it's so easy to get caught up in the "world" and being successful. Children need to be children, and they need to have fun in life. I have so many friends who have been pushed so far to the point that they just don't want to do what they are passionate about anymore. It's a sad reality, but something that I feel needs to be addressed because it is such a growing issue.