You know that college you hyped up in your mind for months or even years? The one close to home, perfect campus, great sports teams, lots of activities, surrounded by tons of foliage? The college you imagined yourself standing in the Quad doing Yoga at? The college you told yourself there was no way you'd be rejected from? Well, imagine being told, "no," from this very college. Imagine the pain that would flow throughout you when you got that letter or when you opened that email.
That's what happened to me.
It was during my gap year. I decided to defer my enrollment to a college I told myself I really wanted to attend. However, during this deferment, I changed my mind - another college changed my mind. University of New Hampshire, the college that stole my heart and then broke it. I fell in love with the historic charm, the foliage, the hiking trails around, how close the beach was, how close it was to family, the ice skating rink on campus, the pool. I fell in love with it all, and then it was stolen from me.
I remember the day vividly. It was during the spring of 2016, I was sitting on the couch watching television, eager to hear from the school my heart desired to be at. I couldn't wait any longer for the acceptance letter so I decided to cheat. I look for my admissions status on the port account they gave to me. I logged in and there it was, staring me dead in the face. I refreshed the page a million times wondering if I was just reading it wrong. I wasn't.
The college of my dreams said they didn't want me.
I sat staring at my laptop screen and the only thing I could mange to do was cry. The news broke my heart and my heart responded by viciously crying. My father kept asking what was wrong, I tried to answer but the only answer I could give was more tears. I eventually gained enough strength between my sobs to give my father my laptop and show him the terrifying news. His response was, "What does this mean? It can't be true. There is no way. I'm going to talk to your aunt."
It meant that the university didn't want me. It was true. My aunt could do nothing except tell me that the degree program was probably too competitive, but that wasn't reassuring. None of it was.
I couldn't eat that night. I could barely sleep. I cried my eyes out on my boyfriend's chest until I finally had no more energy and no more tears to give. I was numb for weeks. I had to think of other universities to attend. However, none of the universities were ever going to have everything the university of my dreams had.
The rejection shook my confidence. I applied to another, cheaper version of schooling in New Hampshire but I couldn't help but think that I'd, once again, be rejected. Luckily, I was accepted. However, an acceptance to the school did not feel as deserving and exciting as the acceptance to the first school I applied to did. My heart wasn't in this school, I wasn't in that school the way that I was in University of New Hampshire. I remained searching, hoping that I'd find an option of school that could give me what I wanted. I eventually found Armstrong State University which was sitting right under my nose the whole time.
I may have been rejected and it was one of the worst heartaches I have ever felt, second to that of the boy who broke me in high school. However, I managed to figure my way out of the hole those words, "not accepted," dug for me. I found a school that I enjoy, close to people who are important to me. I found a place that I can love being at, even if it wasn't my first choice.
The rejection taught me a lot about myself. It showed me that even when I felt as though I had nothing else to look forward to in life, I could find my way. It taught me that I can overcome any obstacle in life if I could overcome this hurdle. It taught me that not everyone is going to like me or want me, and that's perfectly okay. Although this rejection was the worst rejection I have ever felt, it didn't slow me down.
College rejection may feel like the end of the world, you may feel like you don't even deserve to go to college afterwards. However, do not let this college rejection shake you. You are worth the acceptance. You do deserve to go to college. You will find another college. College rejection is a tough thing to go through, but you will make it. Do not let this rejection get the best of you. Keep that pretty chin up.
