I used to think my first love would be as bold as a Sharpie on colored paper. Certainly not erasable, and it can stain absolutely anything. Sure, love stains and leaves marks on your heart, but true love always has a way of purifying your soul, rather than mimicking an object, a scar, or bad times. It prevails when you don’t and it will never be questioned. It is very true that people will come and go, but let me remind you that your true love will stick around forever. Something we are still figuring out, and who knows if some of us ever actually will?
A young love is always the first. You may be with hundreds of people before you meet them, but you’ll know it when you do. They show up when you least expect it, but most importantly, when you need them. Likely to be your first love, it’s easy for me to say, I too thought they would be there forever. I was suddenly shocked to realize they would rather be remembered. Not by choice, but by fate, and maybe even our age.
We are living in a world where sexual desire is chosen more than loyalty. Money is the motive for a majority, and passion is nearly nonexistent. Hell, a like on your Instagram picture is practically flirting. The norms of our dating culture are becoming stacked against us. Man vs. Society, get what you can take. If you can get laid a few times, that’ll do. A free date, sure, I need to eat tonight. In reality, many people don’t know how to love yet because they are lovers of self, not others. One day we will all have to choose what is best for us on our journey. The power of love never fails, but for now we are in the time of our life where we are maybe starting to learn what it actually is.
10 years from now we are going to be laughing about all of the stupid shit we got ourselves into. I hope I’ll damn sure pat myself on the back for not being on divorce number three, prowling the bar scene looking for my next love. Who actually knows? Maybe I will. But as of today, I am proud to say that I chose to let go of someone because they didn’t love me right. They weren’t good for me; they rather filled a void. At the time, that’s all I needed. I realize now that I am a lot smarter than I once was. Hours upon hours of games, asking for something I knew wouldn’t last forever. In life, however, we dream big. We dream of these fairytale love stories, the ones where you ride off into the sunset and start your life with someone. Of course, with that one someone who stole your heart for the first time, because for some reason we think we only get one shot at being loved, forever. Silly me, being so young and naïve, I truly thought that’s what love was. Like a bold Sharpie to fill in between the lines.