We want to post candid Instagram pictures at a coffee shop on a Saturday morning with our friends. We want to maintain Snapchat streaks with the cute boy or girl down the hall we have only ever said two words to in our life. We perfectly align our food and phone at the perfect angle because was the meal actually even worth eating if your Instagram followers didn't see it?
We swipe left and right. We send meaningless messages to strangers for a night or so to gain some satisfaction of feeling desired and then move on to the next person when our initial interest even slightly begins to fade. We text someone all day with meaningless conversation because we are too afraid to walk alone to class so we cling to our phones for a superficial human interaction to entertain us.
We are stimulated by superficiality.
We do not want a relationship.
We want attention.
When it comes down to it, it is not the relationship that matters anymore, it is the image of it.
We complain how we do not get asked out on dates, but when we do we brush it aside to play the game of "who can be the most unattached." We stare at our screens while we hold awkward small talk until we become distracted by something else that gives us more attention. This game of "nonchalant attention" ends up leaving us feeling empty due to the lack of real human connection. We leave the uncomfortable date only to be texting hours later, confused at why the texting version of the person seems so much better than the real human conversation. You can fake yourself over technology, but you can't fake real, genuine human interaction. So, we continue to text for a few more days before our attention is soon distracted yet again, and we move on to the next human that gives us even an inkling of attention. We crave deep connection, but forcibly keep it shallow.
We want everyone to see us holding hands, but we don't want to put our feelings in that other person's hands. We seek all the positives of it- attention, pleasure, and admiration, but aren't willing to work through the negatives. We want the physical affection, but any hint of eye contact and we turn the other way. With our easily distracted and stimulated minds, we see human relationships as disposable. We want to connect with others, to find a match, but that's as far as we want to go. Knowing that others are attracted to you and desire you is like filling a bowling ball sized hole with golf balls. There is still space in between the golf balls. Space that cannot be filled, but we still try, shoving golf ball after golf ball into our hearts and time.
There's plenty of fish in the sea. You can be the best fisher with the best equipment, but if you're not willing to put the time and effort into waiting and reeling for the fish, you will only ever get bites that will leave you...well, fishless.
We feel entitled to what we think love is. We are under the illusion that we deserve it and it will all just work itself out. One day, We will find our Prince Charming we all grew up watching on Disney as little girls. We will find our Beauty or our Beast eventually. Someday we will stumble upon the love of our life and live happily ever after because that's what we expect. We deserve it. We sit around, fiddling with any sliver of attention, and pout when the immature guy we met drunk out of his mind at a house party doesn't give us the love we crave or the comfort we feel we deserve.
We live a life teeter-tottering the fine line between wanting a relationship, but acting like we don't. We are too afraid to commit to anything out of fear there is someone better, so we string others so we have the option to have them if we want them. We want the instant gratification of being loved: we want it and we want it now.
We want a distraction. We want a placeholder. We play hard to get with the boy we like, praying he will put in all the effort to pursue us, but become disappointed and confused when he decides countless times of rejection is enough. Doesn't he understand that us saying "no" over and over means "yes"? How dare he walk away after countless times of telling him to. The problem with our generation is that we don't want a relationship-- but at the same time, it's all we really want.
