We have a fish that survived a prank we pulled on one of our friends. The prank involved us filling styrofoam cups with water and placing them all around his room. On top of that, we filled 30 of those cups with 14 cent goldfish to prevent this person from just dumping out the water. We were relying on a conscience to be present so that the fish would not simply be flushed down the drain. Our conscience theory was correct. While his sister took many of the goldfish, we took the goldfish that was left lying on the floor for 10 minutes, not really expecting him to live.

Well, he lived.

So now we have a goldfish, appropriately named Captain America (names have been changed to protect the identity of the fish, but still apply), living in a bowl on our little table in the dorm room. We weren’t really expecting to be fish whisperers and great stewardesses of sea life, but here we are, 2 months later, with a goldfish that’s still swimming. We aren’t quite sure how he’s lived this long, considering we fill his bowl with tap water and we feed him tortilla chips, dry spaghetti, barley, brownies, and cucumber. He is the epitome of a college pet because he’s getting by on the sparse and random food you pick up here and there. Sure, he may take a little nap on the bottom of his bowl for a couple hours, but then he’s swimming around like a newborn fish. We felt that he was lonely, so we have now added Maria, the water snail, to his bowl for company. Although, I don’t think you usually try to eat company for dinner.

All of that is to say, never underestimate a college student’s ability to take care of a goldfish and a snail. Also, never underestimate a college student’s ability to provide and care for one another. We’re kind of viewing it as a little practice of parenthood, albeit a completely different species.

**I promise no fish were harmed during the entirety of this semester**