Froma young age, I've always been the neat freak. Whether that was in class, in my family, on my team, etc. Growing up I always received odd looks for setting up the groceries on the belt a certain way for the cashier to ring up. With that, I was also lightly judged by my peers all throughout my life due to the fact that my school supplies had to match. My binders couldn't be just any binders, my pens just any pens, paper just any kind of paper, and well you get the point. I had to have specific kinds of everything I used. Ever since I was young, I've always kept my room spotless. Everything has a place and a way to face and I can instantly tell if someone has been in my room if I've been gone for the weekend.
This neat freak nature of mine doesn't just stop right there though, no, I have to know what I'm doing and when I'm doing it. I like schedules, therefore, when someone changes something suddenly or something comes up I pretty much have to fight the urge to have a meltdown right then and there. I love lists- to-do lists, homework lists, chores lists, goals lists, you name it and I've probably made dozens of them before. As well as agendas. Believe me when I say that I live for agendas. Literally. If I didn't have an agenda I would lose my mind so fast I wouldn't know what to do with myself. As for school, my school work has to be done a certain way. If my notes are sloppy (even if I thought opposite just an hour ago) I will sit my happy self down and rewrite them without any complaints. I can't count how many times I have sat down and rewritten pages and pages of notes because my obsession for neatness, order, and stability has gotten the best of me.
Now, there's plenty more that I could go on about like how I have to tighten up my room every time I'm about to leave it or go to sleep, or how I feel the need to delete all previous opened pages on my phone before I put it down for the night, or even how I have to set my clothes up in my closet by category and color. While it may sound like this obsession is unhealthy or bothersome, I actually don't look at it that way at all.
Being a neat freak with a slight case of O.C.D. (okay..so maybe I have a mild case) may seem horrible to have to live with everyday but in all honestly I couldn't be more grateful for it because without it I wouldn't be who I am. Literally, everything I do- the way I perform out on the field, my schoolwork, my schedules, my workouts everyday, all of it, is all based off of the fact that I'm a neat freak. And I'm proud.
I have been called uptight, boring, dull, not fun, as well as other names by so so so many people throughout high school and even in to my first semester as a college student but I don't care. I like that I stick to my plans and that I have certain ways of doing things. I like that due to the fact that I feel the pressing need to always have my room spotless, that I don't have to ever worry about spending hours trying to stay afloat in a room I'm drowning in. I like that I know when I'm in class, studying, eating, working out, at practice, and everything else.
I don't care that I make multiple to-do lists daily and then throw them out at the end of the day only to repeat the same task the next morning. I don't mind having to rewrite my set of Political Science notes for the fifth time in two days because I didn't like the way I wrote a section. It doesn't bother me that everything has to face a certain way or that I make my bed (even though it's six feet off the ground) every morning before I go to my classes and if for some miraculous reason I didn't make it, that I make it before I go to sleep only to hop into it five minutes later.
While being someone who possesses these characteristics may have its downfalls, it has also given me the ability to really push myself, it has made me incredibly punctual, very observant, and well....an insanely organized person who tries her best to have her life together at all times. So yeah, I may be a buzzkill who "doesn't know how to live life" just because I prefer to live a different way than others or I may be an "incredibly boring person" because I like order, plans, and timing but none of that will ever change who I am.
So here's a big thank you to my neat freak and O.C.D. nature and a piece of advice to always embrace who you are.