I always get compliments for being such an optimist. I always thought it was a good thing too. Lots of people believe that if you're positive and tell yourself good things will happen to you, they will. In some cases, that's proved to be very true.

In most, however…

After a while, you start to believe that people love your optimism because you can always see the best in them, and they can just continue to walk all over you.

It's like they believe they have an unlimited amount of chance, but I'm so tired of being the one that always has to take a backseat in people's lives.

Maybe I'm just an idiot for believing people would actually do what they promise?

Maybe I'm dumb for believing I can count on anyone.

Well, I can't do it anymore. I've been let down, lied to and forgotten too many times to be looked at as "the optimistic one". There's only so many things that can go wrong before you start to feel not so positive anymore.

It sucks.

I can barely think of a time when someone actually came through for me when they said they would. I'm the only person I've ever been able to count on.

I feel like there's nothing but obstacles that I can never get over. One after the other, after the other, eventually I fall and break something.

I want to be the happy, positive one. I wish I could still believe that things will work out. I've been stabbed in the back too many times to stay that way.

There are countless movie quotes calling optimist idiots, and I used to think that there is no reason not to be optimistic.

Turns out I am just an idiot.