I have watched my brother struggle for 10+ years with an opioid addiction. He was smoking Roxy which is a brand of oxycodone at 19. I opened his drawers one time, and it was full of 40 plus perfectly little cut-out squares of foil that had a bunch of black designs on them. I clearly remember a house, spiral and swastika. This is called "chasing the dragon." It is where you put the pill on a piece of foil and heat it. You have to keep moving it around so it doesn't burn as you chase the vapor coming off the pill with a straw. He was doing it so much that he found a way to entertain himself by moving the pill around strategically to create a different figure on each square.
Around the same year, I was sneaking back into the house pretty late, and as I walked around to the back porch, I saw him sitting up on the couch. He had his arms spread as if he was on a crucifix, and his head had fallen back. He was out. I looked around and on the table, right in front of him was at least 100 white and yellow tablets spilling out of the pill bottle as if he was counting them. I became enraged and took all of the pills to the bathroom where down the toilet they went. I kept one of each so it could look them up and see what they were. One was an antidepressant and the other was a Soma. I cannot count the number of needles, spoons and baggies of the smallest proportion I have found.
He has over-dosed six times and is one of the fortunate ones who still have their life. He has been to multiple rehab type facilities, halfway homes and jail, but nothing has worked. Insanely enough, he has not a single drug charge. I believe I have a very good understanding and insider's view of how real it can be for both parties involved in this horrid consumption of someone's soul. I lost my brother over 10 years ago to this drug, and I will not stop fighting for his life. I pray everyday that God will save him, and I will stand for those too broken to stand for themselves.
The number of deaths related to opioid abuse has been steadily rising since 1999 and is at an all-time high. There were 42,249 Opioid-related deaths in 2016. And in 2014, among 47,055 drug overdose deaths, 61 percent involved an opioid. From 2014 to 2015, heroin overdose death rates increased by 20 percent. We have an epidemic on our hands, and I am not sure what we need to do to make these numbers go down. So many young people die each year because these drugs are readily available, but these same capable people are robbing themselves of a fair chance at life. What more can we do, if it's technically not allowed. Just give up? This life is not black and white. It is filled with gray areas, and every person has a different story. We are given the gift of free will at birth, and this is a beautiful thing; but for some, this gift can be dangerous. It is hard to have the freedom of choice when addicts know with one quick act, they can fulfill that craving to get high. How can we help these people and give them tools to face the trials of every day?
I don't want this to turn into a debate about addiction being a choice or a disease, but I will include my personal opinion. Initially, that individual makes a choice to try the drug. So yes, it is their choice to do drugs. For some, it is this one-time choice that takes their lives. You never know how your body will react to the synthetic chemicals you are putting into it, and it only takes once to completely ruin your health.
I remember in high school, on Drug Awareness Day, all the students had to attend a presentation in the auditorium. I walked in to see about 15 displays of young kids' obituary pictures and information on the stage. The shock value for me was enough to get the point across, but there was a speaker who was a former user and the mother of one deceased child whose obituary was also featured. I don't know if it was because the topic hit so close to home for me or because the struggle truly was real, but I cried very hard that day. I vividly recall, "It only takes once" being the slogan of that day, and it is true.
It can only take one time to get hooked, and that one "yes" can ruin your whole life. It is now your choice to go back for round two, and here the cycle of addiction begins.
Day three, you need the drug to make you feel good again because when using opioids, it triggers your brain to release dopamine, which is the chemical for pleasure.
You wake up on day four, and one of the first things you are going to think about is how to get high. The amount of dopamine your brain has released is not natural, and when you sober up you feel stripped of your being happy, for lack of a better term. You can still walk away at this point, physically. You just have to say "no."
After a week (give or take), your body will start to become dependent on this synthetic chemical for you to release your natural chemicals and feel balanced and somewhat normal.
It's a vicious cycle that too many people are getting caught up in, and it's so sad. You can literally watch the light in their eyes dissipate as the drug consumes their every thought. It is not the same person you once loved and in a way, they are possessed. Once at this point, they have to maintain a certain amount of the drug to be able to function and complete daily tasks, like go to work. I have known very high-functioning addicts who wanted to be clean and were screaming on the inside for help, but they just physically could not stop at that point, or they would become violently ill. These cases have a greater success rate at rehab because the addicts want to be cured. It is solely up to that person to want to help him or herself, because no matter what you try to do to help, you will fail to help the addict if they don't want it. But they will need support when they are ready to stop, because recovery is hard. It is a battle addicts will struggle with for the rest of their lives. It is psychological warfare in their minds.
A lot of shame comes from both sides of the fence for families who are familiar with the addiction struggle. You don't want anyone to know because we live in a judgmental world. Parents feel they will be scrutinized as to how they raised their kids, and the parents blame themselves for their actions. Meanwhile, sblings get a bad reputation and are put in some grown-up situations. They become ashamed of the tie that binds them. But I think the most shame comes from addicts' broken souls, because normally, there is some underlying pain or trauma they are trying to drown out using opioids. Some addicts become so ashamed of their lives that it leads to depression and suicidal thoughts. Only the person who overdoses knows whether it was intentional or not.
How can we help these people heal the suffering in their heart and find peace?
Habits and routines can make or break you. We all suffer from some sort of mild addiction. For example, I am addicted to caffeine and nicotine, preferably at the same time. The hardest routine I have ever tried to break was my coffee and cigarette every morning, because on days I do not have this combination, I feel the adverse effects on my body. I crave it. We are creatures of habit and can handle most things in moderation. You must find a level of self-control and learn what you can handle.
I want every person out there who has ever struggled with any form of addiction to know: you can beat it. Your life is worth it, and you deserve to live. We need to come together and help our brothers and sisters through their dark times. We are put on this earth to love one another, so don't discriminate. Love the person within, not the addict. I wish I could help you help yourself.
"God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference."
— Reinhold Niebuhr
