Self-harm, suicide and suicidal tendencies - these things are considered taboo. Definitely not dinner table talk, rather, something to be kept to yourself (or a therapist). People have a tendency to ignore these “uncomfortable” topics, but even if it is uncomfortable, this contributes to why self harm and depression can remain a secret for so long, and then comes as an awful surprise to friends and family. I spent years hiding self harm scars, ashamed of myself and embarrassed for what I perceived as my greatest weakness. I thought it was only me- thought I was insane, but I did not know how to stop, I had become dependent-addicted. And when my family finally did find out, the reactions were a mix of anger, shame, and of course concern. But no one knew what to do, how to talk about it- so it was pushed under a carpet until I attended therapy sessions, which in all honesty did not help me much personally because I still did not want to talk about anything. Not the self harm, the anxiety, or the mixed up feelings that had been slowly choking me over time. I did not know how to handle the feelings and thoughts I had that were negative, but now I know it definitely is not just me. That is why people cut, and burn, that is where addictions start.
Conversations needs to open up to where people going through this can feel comfortable to speak up, a sort of safe space free of judgement needs to exist. Pills will not fix these problems, despite what multiple people tried to convince me. Time and self expression and understanding can help fix these problems- love and empathy can help fix these problems. To those still suffering with self harm please know not only are you not alone, but you are also not insane, merely a bit lost. And I hope soon you can see that you should not hurt yourself-you should love yourself. I know personally how difficult that journey can be, it is a daily battle, but one day the urges will lessen and eventually then go away. And for those in remission, even if you have relapsed, you should know you are stronger than any blades, and I for one am proud of you.
